Mermaid Leap

Watch your step

2010-07-25T14:30:00.001-05:00

When visiting a foreign country with a foreign language, it is generally recommended to learn a few local phrases as a common courtesy. I like to learn the regulars - please, thank you, washroom, where is this helicopter going?, what hospital are you taking me to?, yadda, yadda and a couple extra useless phrases since you never know when a useless phrase will come in handy.

So here is a useless / useful? phrase you can use when in China (spelled the way it sounds in my head):

Sho shing jia shiao (say it in a real soft, whispery voice).*

Translation: watch your step.

I learned that one early on in the Beijing and Qingdao airports. Elevators, escalators, moving sidewalks. All are concerned about the placement of your feet.

So. If you tuck away foreign phrases in your memory banks, feel free to add this one. You never know. You might get a chance to use it.

*I'm not sure about the Cantonese / Mandarin thing. We were in a Mandarin-speaking part of China, but a Cantonese-speaking friend of mine told me what it meant and how to say it.

You can leave your hat on

2010-07-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

I would like to start to recount my journeys in China, but to begin, I must start a few days before the trip.

My mother, sister and I went to a local production of The Full Monty - a musical version based on the British movie of the same name. Both the play and the movie tell the story of a group of men - underdogs - who are out of work, down on their luck and having a rough go at life.

They realize the answer to all their problems - to become male strippers. They may not have the same qualities as your average, run-of-the-mill male stripper but they do have something else to offer - they are willing to go The Full Monty.

It was totally awesome! ps- The title is suitable, but it was definitely theatre (insert snobby boarding school accent here), not some seedy club show. The show was tasteful. We try not to dwell on any moments that were... tastefully theatrical.

Anyway, that isn't the real story, just the intro. A couple of days after seeing the show, my sister and I are in the mall. We get separated. When we bump into one another again, she is blushing.

"I saw one of the actors from the show, and I talked to him," she says.

She had taken the playbill from her purse the night before, but I still have mine. We look for him to get his signature, but he is gone. Or hiding. Clearly, it isn't meant to be.

Fast forward a couple of days to me in the middle of the airport, searching for my passport so I can get on the plane (suitcases open, underwear on display). The people in line (in front of me, behind me, inching past my open suitcase to get past me) look familiar. I realize I am surrounded by the cast of The Full Monty. Everyone is there but the main character.

Of course, I took the playbill out of my purse the night before.

I feel like I should be brave like my sister and tell someone I liked the show. But who do you tell? The closest person? That might be weird since I am rummaging around in my suitcase. Should I tell all of them or just a few people and let them spread the message? I wouldn't want to hurt someone's feelings by not including one of them. Perhaps I could just run around high-fiving them all.

Meanwhile, through these ruminations, I find my passport and we board the plane. I decide to forgo complimenting the actors as I have since realized it is early in the morning and they are also busy finding passports, hugging loved ones, buying coffee. An awkward high five from me is probably not necessary at the moment.

We board the plane.

Yes, the cast and I are also to share an airplane.

One of them is sitting directly across the aisle from me (small plane, 2 seats on either side of the teeny, tiny aisle). As far as I can stereotypically tell, he is dressed like an actor not hiding from his public (silk vest and scarf, nice shoes as opposed to paper bag over head or sunglasses). Okay, I wonder, now should I talk to this guy?

We are instructed to put on our seat-belts. The plane takes off. The drink cart goes by. Snacks. Should I talk to this guy? He dozes off to sleep. His foot is sticking out in the aisle. The flight attendant walks by and trips over it. They apologize to one another.

Okay, he's awake now. Should I try to talk to this guy? He gets up. Goes to the washroom. Okay, I'll wait five minutes, then say good job. It's not polite to say good job to someone as they walk out of the bathroom.

Apparently, he has placed his carry-on on the over-head bin on my side of the plane. He stands close to rummage around in it.

I stare at my book.

Blushing.

This guy is much too close (it's a small plane. He's not a creep).

I can't talk to him now. What am I supposed to say? "I didn't recognize you until now, but great show the other night."

Clearly, I would not say that, but my blush would.

Finally, I decide there are people in LA who can walk past Drew Barrymore without batting an eye. I am going to mind my own business and let these people get on with their day. I clapped the other night - Good Enough.

We get off the plane. Just us passengers here. My stress refocuses on completing the next twenty+ steps required before my journey is completed.

***

Fast forward again, this time three weeks. I have written this post, but have not actually posted it yet. I am walking around campus at lunch. I see this guy. He looks familiar. Of course he does. It's the main character from The Full Monty sitting on the grass. Eating a sandwich. Should I go say hi?

Quote of the Day:

"Good Grief"

- Charlie Brown (Charles M. Schultz)

I'm Baaaaack (well, 87% back)

2010-06-24T09:19:00.005-05:00

Well, my dear friends. My colleagues and I have returned from China, bringing with us our newly acquired slew of parasites and ailments.

Actually, I have been back for over a week, but it has been a weak week. Until now, the only possible blog post for me would have looked something along the lines of:

I R Sick (followed by accounts of my doctor-visiting adventures).

Water. Water. Bring Water.

Anyway, I'd say I'm back up to 87%. I have regained my appetite and shake like a Chihuahua every time I eat (I lost a million lbs, totally messing with my Shape-Ups experiment - Don't worry, I plan to gain them back asap in the form of milkshakes. MMmmmmmmm milkshakes).

So On With The Show

This is not China-related, but it was the moment where I realized I was well enough to rejoin the ranks of humans (or whatever ranks I used to be in):

My friend had a party (I told her I wouldn't blog about it (I only blog about parties where I fail to socialize) - I'm blogging anyway).

So. My friend had a party. She lives with her fiance and a new(er) roomate.

We were outside eating watermelon (ok. I was eating all the watermelon. Chihuahua-style) and I noticed a cute little garden in the yard. My friend's fiance is european and an awesome cook, thus I assumed it was his garden.

He's also a little straight laced.

I caught the eye of the new(er) roommate, brought my finger to my lips, whispered, "Shhhhhh," and tossed my watermelon rind in the garden.

She returned the, "Shhhhh," and smiled.

Later that night, I found out it was, in fact, her garden I was tossing watermelon rinds in (yes, rinds. I'm a jerk).

I left early (recuperating people need their rest), but not before ensuring the fire pit and the roof of the neighbor's shed were equally graced with watermelon rinds.

That's right, my friends. It is time to return to writing. The creativity is beginning to flow in a not-so-savory direction.

Do you find yourselves becoming inadvertently (or destructively) creative if you spend too much time away from your creative outlet of choice?

Mermaids make the day shinier

2010-06-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

I came across a mermaid.

Mermaid sightings are largely attributed to those of sea cows, manatees and dugongs by lonely / malnourished / drunken sailors.

These photos are of the beluga whales in the Vancouver Aquarium in Vancouver, Canada.

Double agent

2010-06-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

Today I'm blogging over at Prairie Chicks Write Romance.

So excited!

Cut and paste

2010-05-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

I hope you have a nice day today.

For the writers in the crowd:

Are you the type of writer who knows what they are doing from the start and can write in a straight line from point A to point B or are you the type of writer who puts down bits and pieces and rearranges them until they fit the way you want them to? Do you have a different method from the two I have listed?

Make a wish

2010-05-25T21:00:00.001-05:00

If you the type of person who makes wishes on airplanes, now is your chance.

I have it on good authority that there is one in the sky.

A little birdie has told me Google and its affiliates (including blogger) are inaccessible in China as of May 24th (they used to route through Hong Kong, apparently), so I apologize in advance for allowing my blog to wilt. There are a few prearranged posts coming up but there probably won't be any of the spur-of-the-moment traveling posts I had hoped to make.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2010-05-23T19:00:00.001-05:00

You may have wondered if I had been bit by a zombie, hence my failure to post anything of late.

Your guess would have been close. I'm preparing for a trip to China and any time I try to work on anything resembling a creative outlet, 14 pairs of socks... 14 pairs of socks... takes over my thought waves.

Even as I type this, I'm thinking about the uncharged batteries in my camera.

There are a two things I want to see while I am there:

A cherry blossom (preferably more that one, but one will do).

The great wall.

As it is The Year of the Tiger, one of my airplane books will be Marjorie Liu's Tiger Eye. The book is set in China and Marjorie blogs about her trips to China, so it feels appropriate. Feel free to read along with me.

I have to go. I'm on the verge of hyperventilating as my suitcase is totally full and I know I want to bring back a zillion (give or take a few) souvenirs.

Book chatter and shiny, shiny pictures to follow. Any tips from people who have visited China?

Find umbrella... Find umbrella...

'Blogs For You' aka 'Janet made my day'

2010-05-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

Janet, from Janet's Journal has been kind enough to award me with the One Lovely Blog Award. If you haven't seen it already, I'd recommend stopping by to visit her blog. She has some interesting posts and every Friday, she posts some of her current work in progress.

With great power comes great responsibility. Recipients of the One Lovely Blog Award are required to:

1. Post the award on your blog with the name of the person who has granted it to you and his or her blog link.

2. Pass the award to other deserving bloggers.

3. Email the bloggers to let them know you've given them the award.

4. Just kidding. There are only 3 rules.

So here are a few blogs I really enjoy:

The Chocolate Chip Waffle

Terresa Wellborn is the author of this blog and I know I'll be visiting some place beautiful every time I type in the url. Poetry, art, famous quotes, chocolate chip waffles. You really have to see it to believe it. Her writing is also protected by an invisible ninja force field. True story. I read it on her blog.

Dark Angel's Blog

I've been following Sherry's blog for some time and enjoy her writing advice, author interviews and the snippets from her work. It has a deliciously paranormal atmosphere.

The Regency World of Author Lesley-Anne McLeod

This blog is filled with research from the regency period, writerly advice and fun literary information I would have never come across otherwise. Something about it draws a person in (especially a person interested in historical research and / or writing). Some of her recent posts have also been striking a personal chord with me. Ex. My father is doing a lot of genealogical research for our family. The day he told me my great-great grandfather and grandmother were hat-makers who lived on one side of London and worked on the other, Lesley-Anne had a post about how she had to find a milliner in a somewhat unfashionable area of Regency London.

The mermaid in the cathedral

2010-05-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

This is the Nidaros Cathedral (Nidarosdomen) in Trondheim, Norway. It is a beautiful cathedral with lots of gothic architecture, secret rooms, winding stairways and a great place to look out at the North Sea. This is the view as you enter the room:

It is hard to see, but there is a slightly raised marble platform with six pictures on it (left to right, far to near): a centaur, a dragon, a pig (boar?), a lion, a mermaid holding a mirror and a scorpion.

I was drawn to it, thinking, "What is this doing in a church?" The nave looks very impressive from this photo, but as you walk in the room, the first thing you see is this large altar right in front of you. Once you can stop staring, you live your chin up to look at the ceiling and don't put it down before your neck gets sore.

There is a very old Norse document, called Speculum Regulae, or The King's Mirror that dates back to the 1200's. Part of it gives precise details regarding the physical appearance of mermen and mermaids (merman = hafstramb, mermaid = margygr). It suggests the sighting of such a creature forebodes poor weather in the near future.

I came up with all of these theories about why there would be a mermaid on the altar front. I finally decided it would need to have something to do with Saint Olav (an ancient Norse king from days gone by - there are murals and statues dedicated to him in the cathedral and all over town).

Perhaps Saint Olav was once in love with a mermaid or rescued by one when he fell out of a Viking ship. Maybe there was a whole contingent of mermaids and mermen that were a part of the Viking conquests.

I needed to find out what it meant.

I probably looked too hard, because the altar front is not nearly as old as I thought it would be. The Altar of the Holy Cross was built between 1986-1985 by Wenche Gulbrandsen - I think the marble platform was made by the same artist. There is no explanation I have come across yet. Nor are there any other pictures (photography is not allowed inside the cathedral. This is a scan of a postcard I got in the gift store. Egil Rein took the picture for the postcard.).

So I figure, what the heck? My explanation is as good as anyone else's (except for the real one, I suppose). King Olav loved a viking mermaid who saved his life. Who knew?

Your explanation is also as good as anyone else's. Five mermaid points to anyone who can tell me an explanation for / story of the centaur / dragon / pig / lion / mermaid / scorpion. Ten mermaid points to anyone who can come up with a theory involving all six. It doesn't have to take place in a church or in Norway, for that matter. Let your imagination do what it wants - it will anyway.

I have no idea what the points will add up to. We will worry about that later ;)

The Dark Highlander Book Review

2010-05-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

Based on my past posts regarding reading material, you may have inferred I have a thing for vampires / anything paranormal. You would have inferred correctly. I'm about to let you in on my darkest of secrets: my love of vampire / anything paranormal books is nothing when compared with my love of highlander books.

What trumps a highlander book? A paranormal highlander book.

With that out of the way, I would like to suggest you give Karen Marie Moning's Highlander series a read, especially one of my favorites: The Dark Highlander. It isn't the first book in the series (its the fifth), but it is the first Karen Marie Moning book I read, thus I am qualified to say it was a great introduction to the series and it made me want to read more of the related books in both directions.

A series-related warning from your friendly neighborhood book nerd:

If you want to read in chronological order, feel free to start with Beyond the Highland Mist, or maybe Kiss of the Highlander. If you have the urge, try not to read The Immortal Highlander until you have at least read one or two of the earlier books (ex. this one) so you really have a feel for the world - it's worth the wait.

Anyway, why should you want to read this book:

As you may have inferred from the title, Daegus MacKelter is a dark and brooding highlander who has used his Druid powers and a set of standing stones to travel through time to protect his brother who had been spelled into a sleep spanning over five thousand years.

The use of the standing stones may have protected his brother, but it caused Daegus to become possessed by the spirits of thirteen evil druids imprisoned in the circle. Through the search for (and theft of) ancient texts that may possibly free him from the evil spirits and the inevitable madness as a by-product of their possession, Daegus meets Chloe Zanders, an antiquities dealer.

How do they meet? Daegus finds Chloe under his bed, snooping out the antique texts he stole. What is his solution? Kidnap her, of course. Or rather, not allow her to leave until he can find the answers he needs (without her reporting him to the authorities). The upside: Chloe offers a second set of educated eyes as well as a few extra tricks she has up her sleeves to help him find how to break the curse before the madness overtakes him and he becomes The Dark Highlander.

This book has it all: Laughter. Adventure. Mystery. Steamy moments. Shirtless Highlanders. In fact, I would consider this a keeper / reread book. Let's all take a moment to enjoy the cover art.

Are there any Karen Marie Moning fans in the crowd?

Sweet gesture? Villain in sheep's clothing?

2010-05-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been hearing lots of man-to-man tips and tricks on how to get a girl to like you - mostly radio advice. They are comprised of ways to a) impress a girl or b) emulate an alpha male.

Tips like:

Insult her

Wait five minutes after meeting her before paying any attention to her

Touch her (arm taps etc) somewhere in the area of 10 times within an evening

My favorite: at lunch, some guy went to a restaurant, left his credit card number and instructions that when he asked for the bill after his date that night, they were to say, "Oh no, ___. You eat here free!"

They might be sweet if a guy wants to impress someone he cares about (although it seems a bit manipulative to me). I guess if you get a girl's emotions up, even if its anger, she will be thinking about you. As for the 'insult her' advice, I have never wanted to date someone because they insulted me - although I may have wanted to bat them up-side the head with one of those cardboard tubes wrapping paper comes rolled around.

I thought these tips might be something to keep in mind if I ever had a guy (imaginary) trying to get a girl (also imaginary) to like him. Then, today I was getting my hair cut and a supplier was in, trying to get one of the hairdressers to buy a electric trimmer. She didn't like it. He started shaving the hair on his arm.

Here's how it went (I couldn't help but listen. My toner was setting):

Her: It isn't even working.

Him (with an insulting tone of voice): What? Have you been drinking today?

Her: Pardon me?

Him: Have you been drinking today?

Her: No

Then he showed her a different electric trimmer. They chatted about it (warranties, etc) and she ordered it and a bunch of other stuff. The guy wandered around the store, making sure to say by to all the hairdressers ("Bye, ladies.") and left.

Aside from his one jerk-face moment, he seemed like a nice enough guy. So why had he been so rude to her? They didn't seem to have a chummy enough relationship to talk to one another like that. Why had she ordered anything from him after his bad behavior? Had he applied one of the dating tips to make a sale? Had she let him because he was the official shop supplier?

Where does the sweet guy trying to impress a girl become a villain? For me, I think it is the comment, "Have you been drinking today?" It may have worked for the two of them, but as an outsider, the situation felt absolutely contrived.

I suppose there is room in a story for this type of character, but the hero-type I had in mind isn't it. The old adage Be Yourself should slide over to Let Your Character Be Himself as well. If he uses some out-of-character trick, perhaps she should be attuned enough to know (maybe too polite to let on, but she should know - perhaps this was the hairdresser. After all, she didn't buy the sub-standard trimmer), or maybe there should be some catastrophic disaster (no electric trimmer sale).

Anyway, got to go. I have all sorts of villain ideas swirling around in my mind.

All I see is, "I give up"

2010-05-09T20:30:00.002-05:00

A thought-provoking blog post of Rachelle Gardner's asks her readers what they give up to be writers.

Although a lot of the responses are inspiring, some are absolutely, jaw-dropping-to-the-floor-ingly heart-breaking.

Clean houses. Healthy meals. Exercise. Time with family. Sleep. The possibility of finding their soul-mates. Having children. And so on... Some of the responses have lists of five or six points similar to the ones I've paraphrased here.

All I can say is been there, done that. Eventually it is going to catch up with you.

For instance: There is a Thanksgiving I will never get back because I spent it writing a school paper (a paper that sucked because my heart wasn't in it). I've seen fellow students put aside their personal lives and health for the sake of a project. I got so stressed my hair started falling out. Instead of slowing down, I got a haircut. This happened twice before I decided maybe I did have some time in my day to go to a yoga class.

Writing is a thing I do because I enjoy it. Not because I want to make myself a martyr with a book being the finished product of my misery. Its my way of staying out of the pit of despair (drama, drama, drama), not an excuse to jump into one.

Think about it. There are moments where it makes sense to drop all else and write until it feels like your hands are going to fall off. There are times where I do, but do you really want to reach a point in your life where you sit down to write the list of what you gave up to have 80 000 words (How long is a piece of string? Popular opinion says 80 000 - 100 000 words, on average) in your jaded little hands?

Do you want to risk having that moment where you look at those 80 000 - 100 000 words and think, "You are beautiful, but I resent you." Or worse, "You are the ugliest little duckling I have ever seen in my life and I hate you. Where has my life gone." I'm not ready to face that.

I can't even joke I don't clean my house. I thought I could, but recently went through a spring cleaning phase where I had to ask my mom to help me clean my kitchen and it took the 2 of us 6 hours to do it (Thanks, mom! Love you!). Granted, we cleaned the stove and washed the cupboards and caulked the countertops, but it took 6 hours. Six hours!

Eventually it is going to catch up with you. The question is, how hard will the wave hit when it does?

Of all the comments I read on Rachelle's blog, none of them mentioned avoiding brushing their teeth. This tells me there is still hope. I think what we need is a little rewording. A bit of forward-planning at times and some living in the moment at others.

Instead of thinking I give up x for y. Perhaps we can think of it as I multitask where I can, prioritize where I can't.

Don't give up reading: read in the tub. Personal hygiene, check. Reading, check. (I once told my sister I hadn't read Anna Karenina because it was too heavy. She got me one of those book holders for the bath.)

Arthur Slade and kc dyer write while on the treadmill.

Turn on the radio and dance while making supper or doing the dishes.

Books on tape. Books on tape. Books on tape.

Instead of saying, "I don't sleep in," say, "I wake up early."

Time-saver to Avoid: personal telephone conversations in a public washroom. The person on the other end is no fool. Neither are the people in the stall beside you.

I don't mean to belittle anyone who feels they have given up something they care about to write / for their chosen profession. I just hope you might find a way to rearrange. To find that bottleneck and find a way to squeeze a bit more joy in your life. (I wish I had that Thanksgiving in my list of memories)

If you are going to give something up, don't give up the things that make you Who you are, What you are. Give up the time sucks and creativity killers you don't need in your life. Spend less time talking to tele-marketers on the phone. Take a list when you go grocery shopping. Arrange to pay your bills on the internet. Avoid wasting mental and physical energy on unnecessary toxic situations. You might find you have time to knit and to write - or even more time to knit / write.

Things might change. Ten years from now I might be on here, grousing about all the things I'd given up while being too stubborn to admit I'd been doing it. Or worse, I might come across a comment left on this post by Anonymous. Two words: You Failed.

Although I am nowhere near doing all the things on this list (or completing everything I have on my to-do list by the end of each day), I refuse to toss my hands up in the air and say, "I give up." I hope you do too. We deserve to be happy while doing what we love. We deserve not having to resent 'thing a' because we would rather be doing 'thing b'. We deserve not to feel guilty or selfish, when we are doing the best we can.

I just wish I knew how. Its a work in progress, I suppose.

Tell me, what is something you refuse to give up?

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down

2010-05-05T22:44:00.004-05:00

I've gone and done it. I went and bought a pair of Sketchers Shape-ups. I am officially tromping around like a woman with two rocking horses strapped to her feet. Incredibly comfortable rocking horses.

Research (interwebs and other)

From what I had come across, these shoes are designed to strengthen core, legs, improve posture and balance, reduce gingivitis, paint your house, wash your car and give you the poise and stamina to run a 10K marathon in heels. Well, not exactly but they are getting a lot of hype in the circles I run in (ran in: now I walk. No running in the Shape-ups).

I really wasn't sure what they would be like. There are very few testimonials online about them aside from promotional material and statements such as, "They are supposed to (yadda yadda yadda)," and, "I hear they (yadda yadda yadda)."

The best testimonial I got was from the woman (and her husband, who was also trying on a pair) in the shoe store who whispered to me, "My girlfriend wore them for two months and the cellulite on her butt..." She then slashed at her throat like the cellulite had been decapitated. Message sent. These shoes mean business.

Why bother?

Now, this is a blog (thank you Captain Obvious), thus I am more or less invisible, so I am going to level with you. I don't really care about what my butt looks like (its not like I can see it). I'm not that interested in what my weight is, or the number value assigned to my waistline. What I can't stand is my muffin-top. Esther.

My line of thought: better posture = Esther might have to work a little harder. A fabulous looking butt is just a bonus.

So anyway, this may fall under the category of one of those blog post no-nos. No TMI blog posts! Regardless, I plan on filing it under product testing and quality control, rather than TMI.

My gift to you:

If you see Sketchers Shape-ups in an upcoming blog post heading and don't want to read about it, you can consider yourself warned.

If you want to know if the darn things work (I know I do) ... Stay tuned.

A Horse Stepped on my Hand

2010-05-03T18:00:00.010-05:00

A horse stepped on my hand*. True story. Thus my need to hunt and peck with one hand while clutching an ice pack in the other.

I figure today is a good day to show you the trailer Tessa Dare made. It gets funnier every time I watch it.

See if you can spot the mermaid ;)

*Not one of my own boys. Someone else's Magnificent Beast. And yes, I do realize anyone who leaves their hand lying around for a horse to step on probably has it coming.

City of Bones For You

2010-05-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

When I was at Free Comic Book Day yesterday, I picked up a spare copy of The City of Bones in case someone wanted to borrow mine (some books you share, some books you don't - its safer to give a different copy away and not worry about getting yours back).

Now I figure, what the heck. Have a contest. Its only a small preview of the graphic novel (no false advertising here - its definitely not the whole story) for Cassandra Clare's The City of Bones coming out (soon?), but the drawings are beautiful and it will definitely get you excited for the longer novel. I know I can hardly contain myself.

So if you are interested and a follower living anywhere on planet Earth, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post. I will randomly draw a name next Friday and send you the comic.

Free Comic Book Day: Game On

2010-05-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

Its officially here: Free Comic Book Day 2010.

My first taste of it is this morning at 8:10 am. I drive past the comic book store to pick up some scones at the Farmer's Market (ps- These scones will make you believe in miracles). There are three people waiting outside the store. In the rain - a father-son team and a lone wolf.

8:30 Drive-by: 5 people. Two father-son teams and a lone wolf. Go to grocery store for milk.

I want to go by a third time, but figure I am pretty much asking for a car accident by driving around aimlessly, counting people in front of the comic book store.

8:50: Home, eating delicious, delicious scone. (Fun fact: the first time I typed this, I spelled delicious right the first time, misspelled it the second - in this sentence, I misspelled it twice. My hands resist overuse of the word, even if I don't).

9:50: The line is too long to count. Men, women, children. Everyone is excited. People are looking in the big glass window making all sorts of excited noises.

10:01: A loud, "OOoooohh," from the crowd and the line moves forward.

A guy dressed like Wolverine greets us at the door. An artist from Marvel Comics is in the store. Pandemonium abounds. What to choose? What to choose? Options: 1 free comic book or donate $10 to a local charity and take 10. What to choose? What to choose? Aha!

On the way out, the sweet-faced, blue-eyed Wolverine rasps, "Have a nice day," in a voice so scary, I practically jump out the door. I can't wait for next year.

Did anyone else out there attend Free Comic Book Day?

Please, sir. I want some more blogs.

2010-04-30T22:15:00.006-05:00

I'm doing the blog hop again. Jennifer at Crazy for Books came up with this great idea for like-minded book readers to come across one another's blogs. Good times* to follow.

*dancing is optional ;)

Free Comic Book Day!

2010-04-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

Quote of the day:

"Nobody who has not spent a whole sunny afternoon under his bed rereading a pile of comics left over from the previous holidays has any real idea of the meaning of intellectual freedom."

- Peter M. Dickinson

Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day, where participating comic book stores all over North America and around the world hand out free comic books (or sell them for a low, low price - this often involves proceeds going to charity).

Take your kids. Take your selves.

Click here to find a Comic Book Store near you. If you do attend, I'd love to hear back from you about what the lines were like. There is one I have my eye on. Hint: Cassandra Clare (The Stuff of Legend).

Rules of Attraction Book Review

2010-04-29T22:40:00.013-05:00

I blame Simone. Its 100% her fault. What can I say? She writes a great book. That's right, folks. I went out and bought Rules of Attraction. In hard cover. And read it in 1.5 evenings. Just look at the cover. Doesn't it make you want to cry? Beautiful.

Rules of Attraction is book #2 (of 2 but another is coming next year) in Simone Elkeles' Perfect Chemistry book series. Carlos Fuentes is sent by his mother to live with his brother Alex. Kiara Whitford is a friend of Alex's and volunteers to be Carlos' peer guide to help him adjust to his first week in a new school. Kiara and Carlos find they have clashing personalities, but not so bad that they keep their distance. Rather, they spend time together and when they aren't, they are playing tricks on one another (funny locker pranks, etc).

Trouble at school = Carlos facing two options: serious punishment or moving in with the the school principal (Kiara's father) and his family and attending an after-school program. Guess what happens? (Hint: smooching). As the story moves on, we find the trouble at school was more than another prank. Carlos must decide what is truly important to him and what he is willing to go through to have it.

Rules of Attraction has the same chapter-to-chapter switching of viewpoint between Kiara and Carlos that is seen in Perfect Chemistry. It also has the same raw dialogue that makes you feel like you are eavesdropping on someone else's life and characters you want to hug / shake some sense into. I also love Kiara. She is such a cool character with her interest in cars and hiking and is a totally awesome friend to anyone who can get past her stuttering.

After some digging on the internet (well, actually the first hit on a google search), it turns out Ms Elkeles has written four other YA novels unrelated to the series. However, I plan to distance myself from them for a while, otherwise there will be a reenactment of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Fiasco, where I gobbled all the books at once then wrote all over my jeans and wandered the house aimlessly when I realized there was nothing left to read. Besides, I have a garden to plant. Laundry to fold - One of these days, the book store is not going to allow me and my mismatched clothing in.

I can't explain how much I liked this book without the hand gestures, flailing arms and shrill voice a personal encounter will allow. Instead, I leave you with the book trailer.

Perfect Chemistry Book Review

2010-04-28T18:00:00.006-05:00

If you are a reader of YA, I would like to recommend you read Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles.

Brittany Ellis, captain of the pom squad and all-around perfect person is paired with gang member Alex Fuentes in chemistry class. As they get to know one another, Alex finds Brittany's life is far from perfect and Brittany discovers Alex dreams of more than being in a gang.

Alex and Brittany begin to care for one another. They have chemistry. Dare I say - Perfect Chemistry? Even with their strong feelings, they barely fit in their own worlds. How can they find a way to fit in one another's?

One of the best parts of this book is it trades point of view from chapter to chapter (Ch 1 = Brittany, Ch 2 = Alex and so on). Both characters are so different from one another, yet believable.

The story also resulted in my husband and me driving all over town trying to find a copy of The Outsiders on DVD - not that it's a modern (as in post-Y2K) retelling. I'm just saying if S.E. Hinton and Simone Elkeles were to pass one another in the grocery store, they would high five. Twice - that high five where the arms swing around and immediately move into a low five.

Go on, give it a read. You know you want to ;)

Meet my robot friend

2010-04-27T20:30:00.000-05:00

Blogging rule: Don't write blog posts of epic length. Hopefully today's post balances out yesterday's.

There is nothing worse than spending an exorbitant amount of time working on a project only to realize it isn't as amazing as it was supposed to be. Well, there are far worse things, but I like being dramatic.

Let's all stop to consider all the ugly bird houses in the world. It must be a rite of passage for everyone to build at least one ugly bird house in their life.

AutoCrit Writing Center is helping me to turn my ugly bird houses into what I consider mildly attractive bird houses. At least it is keeping my bird houses from being full of holes with sharp nails jabbing out at all angles.

It offers a Manuscript Editing Wizard with varying levels of analysis. I don't care what you are writing: newspaper articles, fairy tales, scientific manuscripts. It can show you any unnecessary words, patterns or crazy grammar you may have inadvertently used. And its not a person, so if you are shy, "Hello great, unbiased, non-human beta reader."

Obviously, they want you to purchase the service, but there are free components that are helpful.

I'm trying to make this post a shortie and we're on the brink of average length, so I'd better dash. Give AutoCrit a peek. It can't hurt.

It Builds Character

2010-04-26T22:00:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had to do something you don't want to only to have another person suggest you do it anyway, saying if anything, it will "help build character"?

Well, I built character. I had to go to a murder mystery to do it.

I was expecting human checkers, only the Clue version with costumes. It was a Hollywood theme murder mystery and I was to be the social-climbing younger sister of a movie star who was murdered later that evening. More importantly, it was a fund-raising event to help find a cure for cancer.

Anyway, my character was somewhat disliked by the others. Three times I was asked to leave while people were talking. The other movie stars looked at me and whispered. I was accused of being a murderer. It felt like high school all over (except the last bit).

ps - If you are currently in high school, hang in there. Things get better. Sooo much better.

The worst part is, I left my purse in the car. I didn't have a book with me, not even a pen. I was officially stuck in the here and now.

With all due respect to everyone who had been there (friends who are much better actors than myself) and the good intentions of the evening, I just didn't like it. I think it was the gossip, but I got ridiculously upset. To my credit, I pretended I was having fun. aka You can control the number of times you smile in a day - Perhaps I resembled a territorial primate ;) (if this paragraph sounds crazy, see last post).

You know what? It was good for me. By the second half of the evening, I convinced myself to have a bit more fun (although I ran for the car when it was time to go). I even figured out the murderer - The Guy with the Fake Mullet.

Here is The Best Part: In my imaginary world, there is this close-knit group of selkies that have refused to talk to me. Perhaps they saw me looking pathetic and decided to throw me a bone, because they have started chattering like crazy. One even let me know why they stayed quiet for so long.

Finally! I get to the point:

Even though a character my not be the most important person in your story, they should be the most important person in their own.

Why couldn't I get the selkies to talk to me?

I wasn't taking them seriously. I wanted to make them that character you could pass in the street and say something like, "Well, hello there. I see you're a selkie."

"Why yes, you're right."

Life's not like that. Consider the selkie rules: In stories, the selkie is most predominant as the selkie bride. In the water, the selkie is a seal. However, they can come on land, remove their skins and walk around as a human.

If a human male finds her skin and hides it, she is immediately his (generally, his wife). So long as the skin is hidden, she will be a good wife and mother. If she ever finds it though, she's gone. No matter what connections she has formed, she will return to the sea. Sometimes she will approach the shore to visit her children, but she doesn't stay.

So what does it mean to be a selkie?

Never trusting anyone. Even a woman can't be trusted. What if she is only your friend so she can find your skin for a male friend or family member?

If you become a selkie wife, it is probably difficult to make friends with the other women in town (I only had to put up with it for an evening. Imagine a lifetime).

Once you have children or even if you just care about your human husband, there would be fear of angering him or of him falling in love with another woman. If he wants you out of the house, all he has to do is leave your seal skin out in plain sight.

Are there even any rules about the number of selkies one might collect? Could a person steal a bunch of skins and have more than one selkie wife? Keep them as servants? Sell them on the black market?

If I were a selkie longing for the sea, I know I would be afraid of a house fire. I also wouldn't want any company in the house in case someone terrible would steal my seal skin.

What of the selkie lover left behind (if there is one) or children? Does anyone ever come to help you escape? Not even friends and family? Do they wait for you to return? Do they go on with their lives? Does the human husband kill them to prevent any unwanted rescues or to make the search for your skin futile since there would be no one to return to?

These are only a few ponderings that struck me in the moment. I'm sure many more pass through the minds of selkie brides than those above. Even though they are only briefly visited in my story, I think I had a chance to get to know a few selkie women better and for who they are, rather than for what they could do for me.

I don't care if it sound silly. Wishing I had a book or something (Anything!) to take me to a different situation gave me a small taste of what it would be like to be a selkie, longing for her skin.

Oh, and are there more murder mysteries in my future? Probably. I might even surprise myself and have some fun.

Character built?

Check and Check.

Epiphanies

2010-04-23T19:43:00.001-05:00

This week's epiphanies:

Life is too short for bad sushi.

Tiny Buddha says we can control the number of times we can smile in a day. This may mean people should smile more, however I believe it means you don't have to smile if you don't feel like smiling. You run the risk of impersonating a territorial primate (True Story).

When you go into a situation where another person is trying to make you feel uncomfortable, remember this: You are good at something. Excellent, in fact, even if you're the only one who knows what that something is.

When the belt loops rip off your favorite pants, it means two things 1) They have been well-loved 2) They will/should be missed (not worn) - this is a warning sign. If you continue wearing them, they will only break your heart.

Even if it only blooms a short while, a hibiscus flower is worth the anticipation.

This lady is: (initial thought) awesome! (second thought) someone who must have been very lonely beforehand.

The way I use the word 'epiphany' is the definition listed third in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Nothing ground-shaking, but it still gets my wheels turning. How about you? Any epiphanies this week?

There goes the neighborhood

2010-04-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

Me: Husband, husband! You need to come look at this!

Him: What is it?

Me: You need to come here!

Him: I'm eating lunch.

Me: You need to see this!

Him: What is it?

Me: The neighbors have set up up some sort of hoop!

Him: What?

Me: I don't know what it is. Some sort of hoop for sports. They're going to be tossing balls in the yard all summer.

Husband gets up and walks to window.

Him: It's a trampoline frame tilted on it's side. They're probably doing yard work.

Signature scent

2010-04-19T18:00:00.002-05:00

I think I have a signature scent. Well, scents. One, I use when I want to smell good, one when I want to smell fabulous. We went to a party this weekend and I wore Scent #3 - a perfume that was just laying around and I figured what the heck.

What the heck is right. All night, I had the urge to go wash my wrists. I smelled fine, I just didn't smell like me. I smelled like some lady hugged me and her scent stuck.

Smell (I'd put aroma, but sometimes it's just plain-old-smell) can play a major role in memory (Have a big exam?: wear the same perfume while studying and while writing the exam). We know what our childhood home smelled like. We know what our best friend's childhood home smelled like. We can recognize the scent of rain on the air. We know the smell of a hockey bag.

I think it triggers something in stories, too:

Reading a Karen Marie Moning book? Sandalwood = the smell of a sexy, sexy man. What's that on the air? Sandalwood? Don't be surprised if Adam Black is around the next corner.

Jamie Fraser HATES the smell of lavender. Is that lavender soap? No, thank you. You can just go ahead and toss that in the latrine. My husband would rather remove the dirt from his body with a potato peeler.

Bella smells so delicious, vampires have trouble controlling themselves from turning her into a snack on a windy day. It's windy! Quick Bella! Jump in that human-sized Rubbermaid container!

Anyway, I got a bit carried away there. Something about scent helps the memory stick. So long as the smell is recognizable by the reader, it can connect the dots. It helps share a bit more about them than eye and hair color.

It shares their hobbies ex. horse sweat and fresh-mown grass vs diesel fuel and engine grease.

It shares their personality ex. Davidoff's Cool Water vs Vivian Westwood's Boudoir.

Tell me people of blogland: Do you have a signature scent? Do one of your characters? Do you have a favorite book where you could recognize a character by scent alone?

The Summer Hideaway Book Review

2010-04-18T18:00:00.002-05:00

The Summer Hideaway is my first Susan Wiggs book and I can see myself reading more in the future. She uses some beautiful metaphors and switches seamlessly between scenes in the present and stories from the past.

George Bellamy is terminally ill and wants to reconcile with his brother before he dies. He hires a private nurse, Claire Turner. The two of them travel to Camp Kioga, the place of George's boyhood and his brother's retirement.

George's grandson, Ross returns from duty in Afghanistan. At first he mistrusts Claire and her motives for being with his grandfather. As time moves on, he not only learns to trust but to care for her. The only thing is, Claire does have a big secret she isn't sharing. A secret that can harm not only her, but the people she cares for (it has in the past).

The Summer Hideaway is a story of first chances, second chances and learning whether pride is worth having to waiting for that second chance. Hang on to you heartstrings, because Ms Wiggs definitely knows how to pull them.

Where I would recommend reading this book:

In a nice patch of sun.

Are there any Susan Wiggs fans in the crowd that could recommend more of her books?

Halfway to the Grave Book Review

2010-04-17T18:00:00.000-05:00

People who love to read paranormal: if you have not read it already, I would like to introduce you to Jeaniene Frost's Halfway to the Grave.

Take a tough, no-nonsense heroine with a taste for vengeance. Add a dark and moody hero with a (sexy, sexy, sexy) British accent. Sprinkle with high-action fight scenes and terrifying bad guys. Add a dash of interfering human law enforcement. Mix thoroughly.

Cat Crawfield is half-human, half-vampire (roll with it). Think of her as a regular person with the strength and abilities to take down a vampire - and the desire to take down every vampire until she finds her father (aka the man who raped her mother).

One night, Cat meets her match. A vampire bounty hunter named Bones. She tries to kill him, he takes her prisoner * insert battle royale here * she loses and as a result is commissioned to train with and work for him. The world he introduces her to is far different from her past life of indiscriminately taking down (weaker) vampires.

The story is fast-paced with a great plot, interesting characters and enough sexual tension to make a bad (or good) girl blush.

My final assessment:

ROWR

Somewhere else - the smell of peat

2010-04-16T20:30:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the imagination is enough, but every now and then, a person wonders how close what they make up is to the real deal. I'm working on a story set in Scotland where the smell of peat smoke is described - but haven't actually smelled it. I came across the website for the Ardbeg Distillery in the Isle of Islay, Scotland. They sell incense cones. Peat incense cones.

What was my reaction?:

Sign me up.

It turns out, that's what I had to do. I figured I was just signing up for a random email list I would end up unsubscribing my email address from after.

Two weeks ago, a package arrived in the mail. Apparently, I've joined a committee. Yay! I even have a member number. Islay is an island with a population of less than 3500 people and 140 committees. It is officially on the list of places I want to live one day.

Anyway, part of being on the committee involves being sent a Rules and Regulations Handbook (and a sticker). It contains a combination of helpful tips on how best to enjoy Scotch (Ardbeg Scotch, of course. I need to support my committee), songs, old Scottish sayings, history and famous quotes.

My two favorite rules (both resulting in the office of the member being vacated):

If a member becomes unsound of mind, as shown by the development of a preference for a spirit other than Ardbeg.

If a member is directly or indirectly involved in diluting Ardbeg with anything other than water.

As someone who loves reading random awesomeness, this was a book nerd's dream come true. In the end, I learned more about Scotland from this little packet than I ever could had I found peat incense back home. Oh, the treasures we come across when we least expect it.

Slainte

Soulless Book Review

2010-04-15T20:45:00.004-05:00

Hang onto your bustles: Alexia Tarabotti's in town.

In Gail Carriger's Soulless, Alexia Tarabotti is a preturnatural. What's that, you say? A being whose touch can cancel out a vampire or werewolf, making them human so long as she maintains contact.

This book takes us back to an earlier time where all living beings, supernatural or otherwise, are held to the social mores of London society. A simpler time. Or so it would seem...

Despite appearances, not all are pleased with the status quo. What those eager for change are willing to do places Alexia right in the middle of trouble. Lucky for her (and us), Alexia is not the kind of woman to sit idle while others try to snack on her, etc. I don't know if she has a motto or not, but I have a suggestion:

When in doubt, bring a parasol.

How should this book be classified?

Well, you could put this book in a box, but it would have to be octopus-shaped. Is it a fantasy? Is it a romance? Is it a mystery? Is it a paranormal? Is it a historical? Is it steampunk? Is there tea? Is it hilarious?

Yes.

(ps-What's steampunk? Think Wild Wild West)

This story came to a satisfying end, but left enough dangling threads for me to need to read the next book in the series, Changeless (I should say want. I need to read it, but even if I didn't, I would still want to).

(ps#2-Looking for a good kissing scene? This book should come with a warning.)

Have you read the book already? If so, tell me what you thought about it.

Feeling up for some fun? Check out this online dress-up doll (click here). I don't envy her the layers at all.

In the mood for some book cover déjà vu? Check out this online store (click here). They even have a special parasol made in Alexia's honour (click here).

Coffee girl

2010-04-13T21:30:00.002-05:00

Today's best conversation was at a drive-through window:

Her: Welcome to (name of coffee store). How are you today?

Me: Fine, thanks. How are you?

Her: Great! Thanks for asking. What can I get for you today?

Me: Can I have Grande Dark Cherry Mocha?

Her: Thats a Grande Orange Blossom Mocha?

Me: Um, a Dark Cherry Mocha.

Her: Sorry about that. We sell Orange Blossom tea.

Me: Thats all right.

Her: All right, a Grande Dark Cherry Blossom.

Me: Cherry Mocha.

Her: Yep. We'll see you at the window.

I have no idea what it was, but it was delicious.

I want what I have

2010-04-13T00:05:00.004-05:00

I picked up a magazine that believes I will be able to Walk Off Belly Flab in 4 Weeks. Time will tell. When I was walking into the house I dropped it and it fell open to a page. A little article suggests a mantra for the month, "I want what I have."

I want what I have.

I like the sound of it. The world is full of stuff. What is necessary? What is wanted due to power of suggestion (Do I want Rianna's mascara or Drew Barrymore's)? Maybe I should just want what I have. Next time I have my credit card in my hand, I will say this to myself. I will.

Here is where the wheels start turning:

Opposite the I Want What I Have is an ad for Advanced Anti-aging Serum. Huh. Want what you have, but if you change your mind, want fewer wrinkles.

I have trouble buying into it. Is this mantra truly to apply to spending habits, to make us appreciate the things (and People) in our lives? (ps-People in my life - I appreciate you.) What about wanting to know more, see more, live more, learn more? Isn't that what readers and storytellers are all about? Exploring something new? Something we don't have?

One of Virginia Woolf's (many) famous quotes is, "You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

What if all she said was, "I want what I have... and some anti-aging serum"?

Tiger Hunt

2010-04-11T17:18:00.005-05:00

Searching for one tiger has led me to another.

(ps- No, not Tiger)

I've been searching for Marjorie Liu's Tiger Eye for a while now, but no matter where I look, its not in stock. I was in a local book store, sleuthing. It wasn't there, but I figured I would go check out a different book about a tiger instead. Yann Martel's The Life of Pi, the illustrated version (the pictures are beautiful).

I found The Life of Pi on a display shelf along with Yann's What is Stephen Harper Reading? and the newly released Beatrice and Virgil. Above them all, a sign was taped announcing an upcoming signing and that tickets for the event were being sold at the front desk. I asked at the front and they were only $8, so I think it was more for crowd control than to cash in on fans (the reading is in a little coffee shop section of the store).

Here is my dilemma: Should I buy a ticket?

I went one of his signings once in the same coffee shop a few years ago (my first, actually). This is what I learned: for everyone else there, it was a social outing. Making it a ticket-only event ups the anti. It might be a full-on party.

Question #2: Should I kidnap a book-loving friend to come with me?

I'm pretty good at doing loner-type things, but last time, when I tried to talk to him, it came out something along the lines of: "Babble, blunder, babble, blueberry. I mean, blueberry. Blueberry! kthxbai."

All right. That's it. I've made up my mind. I'm probably going to try to get a ticket. Probably ;)

I just need to practice saying, "I love your books," ahead of time.

Oh, and Eye of the Tiger: Amazon, baby. Clickety-click. Come to mama...

UPDATE: It appears I have a wedding to attend the same night. Maybe I'll pull off that scene in 27 dresses where Katherine Heigl's character rips around town to attend 3 weddings in one night. Simple.

Succubus Blues Book Review

2010-04-10T20:00:00.001-05:00

In Richelle Mead's Succubus Blues, Georgina Kincaid is a disillusioned Seattleite succubus. By night, she works for a demon, feeding off the life energy of mortal men. By day, she works in a book store and is an absolute fan of author Seth Mortensen.

The same day her favorite author is scheduled to visit the book store for a signing, Georgina engages in a (retrospectively) embarrassing conversation with a customer. It is not until much later that she realizes this shy and introverted man is Seth. They begin a tentative relationship but a number of things get in their way:

Thing 1

The addition of Roman, a dark and sexy man who is full of mystery and genuinely interested in Georgina - and has no difficulties showing it.

Thing 2

Even a kiss from Georgina will drain the life energy of either man.

Thing 3

Local paranormal beings are being killed - from the "good" (ex. angels) and the "bad" (ex. vampires) sides.

Thing 4

The killer is leaving notes for Georgina. Clues about who will be targeted next.

Thing 5

Did I mention both men are really, really sexy?

With an exciting plot, a good pace and well-rounded characters, this book was a delight to read. Somebody High Five Me!!!

The Gargoyle Book Review

2010-04-10T18:00:00.004-05:00

There is a quote I adore:

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

- Dorothy Parker

Based on the reviews I have read, some people have applied Dorothy Parker's quote to Andrew Davidson's The Gargoyle (not all people - most can't put it down). To anyone who has read this book half-way and stopped, I implore you: take a break from it for a while if you need, but come back to it and carry on to the end.

The Gargoyle is the story of a man who survives a car accident but does not emerge the same person - physically or mentally. Left in a hospital with no family, friends (or funds), he is taciturn and miserable to everyone around him. One day, Marianne Engel, a psych patient in the same hospital pays him a visit, claiming to have known him in past lives.

Marianne Engel tells him stories of the past - all love story variants - including the story of when the two of them had known one another. I found myself looking forward to them as well, for Davidson's writing is quite strong and if a character feels pain, the reader will feel it. My favorite - the story of the glass blower.

While reading this novel, I know I commented a few times that I wasn't even sure what was going on all the time and wondered why Marianne Engel's stories were better than the man's. Why didn't Andrew Davidson just write a book for each of the stories and leave out the man's? I warn you - the man's misery is quite upsetting (there are a lot of references AND parallels to Dante's inferno). Why do they always refer to Marianne Engel by her first and last names when the narrator has no name? You will probably have similar questions.

But Keep Reading.

Everything slowly begins to weave together, culminating into what was simultaneously the most beautiful final chapter and final paragraph I have ever read. This won't happen if you skip to the final chapter, though. You will have to suffer along with the narrator first. It is the sort of ending that needs to be earned.

It will take a fair amount of strength to re-read this novel, but I know one day I will. Even now, every time I walk past it on a book shelf, I have to resist the urge to pat it. Its that good.

Be Passive-Aggressive

2010-04-10T11:30:00.001-05:00

No, I don't mean leave the dirty dishes on your room-mate's bed every time they bake and don't clean up after themselves.

I mean be passive-aggressive, as in get rid of the passive tone in your writing. Aggressively.

How?

Turf "was" every chance you get.

Its hard to do since you can't erase "was" and still have a coherent sentence. There is rarely a single word substitution, but a little elbow grease never hurt anyone.

Until this morning, this is all I knew: Don't overuse "was." This blog post by Celia Yeary made it clear WHY. I recommend you check it out.

You want to use 'eh, 'eh?

2010-04-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

Eh, or as I prefer to think, hey (the h is usually silent, but not always) is widely used by (and misused in the teasing of) Canadians. It is also I have to make a solid effort at NOT using in day-to-day conversation.

I am of the opinion that if you are going to use 'eh, you should use it right (Pepsi's 'Eh O Canada Go cheer is a prime example of a derailed 'eh train).

'Eh is not an audible representation of a question mark. 'Eh is a way of making a question from a statement where agreement is the desired result.

Here are a few simple examples of the right way to use 'eh:

Example: Its cold out, 'eh?

Translation: Do you agree with me that it is cold outside?

Example: This is good, 'eh?

Translation: Are you enjoying your meal?

Even Canadians can mess up 'eh (Ex. Tim Horton's):

Example: I mean, who does that stuff, 'eh?

- This is actually the translation (like on Jeopardy, where they give the answer and want the question) with an 'eh tacked on the end.

Proper use of the dialect: No one does that stuff, 'eh?

You can go ahead and use this for your next commercial or novel about slang-slinging Canadians ;)

Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels Book Review

2010-04-09T18:00:00.014-05:00

Close your eyes and - Wait! - for my friends who think you are funny, read this paragraph, THEN close your eyes and imagine you are trying to sleep.

It is late. You are tired but can't sleep because someone else is in bed with you and they have the lamp on. Not only do they have the lamp on but they are howling with laughter. When they aren't howling with laughter, they are snickering to themselves or nodding their head and saying things like, "That's totally true," and, "I can't believe I didn't notice the connection." To add insult to injury, they try to wake you to read passages out loud from the book they have grasped in their hands.

Did you do it?

Did you picture it?

Did you feel the exhaustion?

You now know how it felt to be my husband when I was reading Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan.

From page 1, I found the book informative. I especially enjoyed how the authors brought to my attention swear words I had no idea existed. Words like bugf_ck and a$shat. (There is nothing like a little unexpected profanity to start the day off right.) - I'm such a prude. I want to be a bad girl and write the swear words but there are too many Lucy Maud Montgomery books in my past. Maybe I'll build up my courage one day and come back to edit in the actual letters .

They were close to teaching me about mom pants, and would have if I hadn't come across Uncle Walter weeks earlier (by googling the name 'Uncle Walter' - oh, the places google takes us).

This book has everything: an in-depth look at romance novel covers (they can predict what a book will be like by what is on the cover), good retorts for when someone wants to insult your reading habits, a choose-your-own adventure.

I felt it lagged a bit at the end, but this may have been due to general lack of sleep by this point. *Note* When I say it lagged a bit at the end, it lagged in relation to this book, not in relation to other books on writing or other books in general. Compared to some other books I have read, the end powered on like a steam engine.

I enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it to anyone who:

Reads romance novels.

Writes romance novels.

Reads any other type of novel.

Writes any other type of novel.

Has a sense of humor.

Has a sense of wonder.

Has a sense of smell.

Does not mind the odd burst of profanity.

Let's go to the Hop - the Blog Hop that is

2010-04-09T17:50:00.002-05:00

How to get rid of a messed up RSS feed

2010-04-09T09:00:00.004-05:00

I've figured out how to fix messed up RSS feeds on Google Reader! - Deleting a blogger post does not delete it from Google Reader - This guy gives instructions on how to locate the ID of a post and update it with new information. All you have to do is follow the instructions. Your old post will pop up and you can replace it with something new and shiny, like I did here.

If you want, you can delete the old post, but it won't totally disappear - there will be an empty box.

Good luck to you.

Update: it seems if the post has already been deleted from blogger, the only way a post will change is if you actually posted the new blogger page to your site. It refuses to disappear into the ether. I guess there will be more posts in my future ;)

Do / say / write / the hard thing (Part II)

2010-04-08T18:20:00.004-05:00

Quote of the Day:

"One day, you will conquer the world, but for now, you don't know how to send a letter."

- My Friend

This is the point I tried to make in last week's post: Its easy to do the easy thing. Its not always easy to do the right thing. For the entire week, I've wanted to retract that statement, but didn't bother since this is also the week I learned you can't erase your RSS feeds on Google Reader. C'est la vie.

I wanted to switch to: Its easy to do the easy thing. Its impossible to do the right thing.

Highlights:

While driving, I saw a girl (my age) run to catch a bus, trip and fall flat on her face. The contents of her purse spilled all over the sidewalk and she missed her bus. I thought, "Here is where you should do something nice," and slowed down. I waited for her to walk up and realized she was walking slow, waiting for me to leave. Okay, city people don't give strangers rides, got it.

I got a letter in the mail - my handwriting. I had sent someone a thank-you letter, only I had put my address in the Send To section of the envelope, not the Return Address section. I appear thankless. Resend.

Today started with me reading Victoria Lynn Schmidt's 45 Master Characters and finding my character archetype (although not a bang-on match) is The Maiden (but I don't Want to be a Maiden. I WANT to be an Amazon!), and ended with me blasting myself in the throat with a spray hose in a barn (think gentler than a pressure washer, but it would beat a garden hose in a fight).

It was coming to where I thought I would just add a, "That's What She Said," in a comment on the title and say I wanted to be naughty. There. Didn't worry about what others thought while paying homage to The Office.

Then it happened:

Mild scolding in a meeting led to me stand up for myself.

Was it exhilarating?

No.

Do I feel shorter?

Yes.

But I stood up for myself. Boy was it hard, but not impossible.

Bad Moon Rising Book Review

2010-04-07T18:54:00.004-05:00

Sherrilyn Kenyon's Bad Moon Rising is the 26th book in the Dark-Hunter Series and if you ask me, it has been a long time coming. In the preceding novels, there are hints at their romantic relationship, but they are always furtive glances of Fang and Aimee. After putting us through the anticipation, Sherrilyn finally shares the story. It follows Aimee and Fang, how they came to be together and how they eventually find happiness with one another (I don't think this constitutes a Spoiler Alert - it is available in the Romance section of the book store).

For the most part, the Dark-Hunter books can be read as stand-alones. I do recommend keeping the reading order close to the written order, since each book takes you farther into their world and they all tie into one another. This, however, is one of the books I would suggest be kept to the written order. It connects scenes from various preceding books, showing a different viewpoint. If you read this first, you're going to find out about a whole lot of what goes down before you want to.

The want of a beer leads Fang to Sanctuary (a bar / sanctuary for paranormal beings) and general chivalrous manliness leads him to risk his life to save Aimee's (the waitress / daughter of the owner). Life goes from bad to disastrous for Fang when angry enemies (if you are an alpha male and save a girl's life, expect angry enemies) attack. People are killed, things are said, brothers are punished, Fang almost dies (and is rendered nearly dead. Mostly dead?). Aimee and Fang take turns saving one another (and being sexy) and there is a surprising scene near the end that had me crying inappropriately on a road trip. Plus there's a man hug.

I'm not going to say much more than that. Too much of a book report and you won't need to read it. What I will say is this:

I don't know what it is with Sherrilyn. Maybe its the mad skillz combination of Greek mythology, paranormal adventures and sexy men but there is always a scene or two in her Dark-Hunter books where I just want to shout, "SOMEBODY HIGH FIVE ME!!!!!" (if you've seen Shrek, use Donkey's inflection when reading this). This book is no exception.

It is not one of my favorite Dark-Hunter books, but I've always liked Fang and Aimee thus my Need To Read. Had it been my first, I probably would not have the same Kenyon Krush I have now. If you haven't read any of her books, read Fantasy Lover first (just reading the title makes me blush), then the Dark-Hunter novels, working your way up to this one. Its a quick read but it tied up some loose ends and made this reader happy.

I Just Can't Seem to Get it Right Today

2010-04-06T18:00:00.000-05:00

Posting fiascos galore. Sorry about the crazy if you check out the RSS feeds on Google Reader. I am uploading a bunch of book cover pictures for book reviews (to clean off the desktop) and can't get the dates right thus a bunch of pictures of book covers posted and nothing else. Arg.

This Just In!

2010-04-06T12:00:00.010-05:00

Fangirl moment:

For anyone who likes Melissa Marr's books, Wicked Lovely will be available as a free ebook on Harper (I think for the next 2 weeks). If you haven't read any of her books but like YA and / or paranormal, I suggest you give her first book in the Wicked Lovely series a peek.

Parts 1 and 2 up her upcoming book, Stopping Time are also available for free download (limited time offer) - I just did. Gossip to follow.

*It takes a bit of work to download a reader program at first (instructions are on the right hand side of the page), but once you get set up, you're golden - just click the Download for Free button and type in the coupon code.

Her website lists other places where downloading is possible such as Amazon and B&N, but I'm a Canadian and they didn't work for me (downloads for US only). Amazon is also supposed to be listing Wicked Lovely for free but when I click on the link, it is listed as $2.99. If someone from the US checks it out, could you please let me know if it is working on your end of the world?

... he howled

2010-04-05T18:17:00.001-05:00

There are an amazing number of words used to replace the word said. These words can be both a blessing and a curse. The right combination and you feel like you are living in the book. Over-application and you want to pull your eyes out with a fish hook. At least I do.

Today, I tackle howl.

There is a certain gentleman in my life (I may or may not be married to him) who may or may not consider himself hilarious.

There is a strange thing about going "back home" for a weekend. My husband and I may not consider ourselves city people, but our dog is a city dog. She is a city dog who has access to a back yard, thus no sense of traffic. When we go "back home", despite the fact that we are visiting a farm, the dog requires leashing to ensure she does not run out to the highway, meeting an early demise.

It was cold(ish) out and my husband was feeling chivalrous. He took the dog for a walk.

Here is where the plot thickens:

My niece and her friend were having a sleep-over. They were outside (and feeling brave). They decided to talk to the coyotes. My husband decided to answer.

What did he do?:

He howled.

The result:

A couple of shrieking girls tearing into the house.

On using howl when howling is not occurring

The word is often used to invoke the charged feeling of the howl, usually to describe things like:

Loud, joyful - and perhaps manly - laughter.

Loud, broken-hearted crying.

Where is the commonality?:

The volume.

The exuberant expression of emotion (Dare I say raw, animal emotion? - I'm a drama queen).

The I-don't-care-if-you-hear-me-in-face-I-hope-you-hear-me attitude.

My recommended usage of the word howl: I suppose it depends on the situation. Ex. 1 sentence in coyote language requires 4 howls (Howl. Howl, howl, hooowwwwlllll. Yip. Yip.)

My verdict as self-appointed word police (think fun police, only nerdier): only use one variation of howl per chapter (Are they laughing? Are they crying? Are they coyotes?).

What do you think?

Brunchy food and Easter people

2010-04-04T18:45:00.005-05:00

Everyone has a favorite holiday.

Call me Scrooge if you like, but Christmas is definitely not mine. People are cold and tired and overworked (so they are caught up when they return from "holidays") and in search of the elusive "perfect gift" for everyone they hold near and dear while smiling what they hope is an unfrazzled version of what they are feeling. Yes I know, I'm a Scrooge.

I think Easter might be my favorite because it is the exact opposite. Three days of friends and family (punctuated by the occasional road trip) mellowed by warm sun and fresh fruit where forks and fingers are perfectly acceptable to be used interchangeably. Getting started on "spring cleaning" but not feeling the same crunch of a deadline for cleanliness imposed by Christmas. Add liquid carbs made crunchy on the griddle and delicious candies hidden in your gym shoes and you have the perfect weekend. (Thanksgiving is a close second but the traffic is a little crazier and all candy is kept in plain sight).

For me, this weekend was a combination of the sweet and the bittersweet (yes, chocolate is included).

A trip to "back home" where some people are recognizable, others are vaguely familiar and people will chat but will not use names for fear of saying the wrong one. Babies are kissed, compared and held awkwardly.

Bike rides. Dog walks. Dog rides. (Two of these happened. You decide which.)

Lunch in town only to find my favorite Japanese restaurant has gone out of business. (Small towns in Saskatchewan are hard on Japanese restaurants - or any specialty restaurants, for that matter, excluding restaurants where the specialty involves ground beef)

Lunch at a hamburger-specialized restaurant.

Fruit cut in finger-sized pieces.

Time to read. (I can sense a few book reviews on the horizon)

Time to write.

Time for homework. (What's a nerd without a little homework)

A tour of my niece's Bieber wall.

Being read Dr. Seuss books.

My sister's homemade olive relish.

Homemade wine and silly chatter.

With weekends likes this, you can hardly blame me if you catch me saying, "Bah, humbug," next December.

Are there any weekend highlights you would like to share?

Do / say / write / the hard thing

2010-04-01T18:00:00.006-05:00

There is a saying: .... well, I can't type it out in any semblance of order, so I'll give you the gist of it: Sometimes we are given choices in life but are not sure which one is the right decision. Chances are, the choice requiring the most difficult undertaking is the answer.

- Not always -

For example, programming your VCR. The most difficult undertaking would involve not reading the manual. The right choice is probably to read the instructions, otherwise don't come crying to me - actually, even if you have read the manual, don't come crying to me. Well... you can come crying, just don't expect me to do anything about it. Technology and I don't mesh well (the force is not strong with this one).

Anyway, here is my point: its easy to do the easy thing. Its not always easy to do the right thing.

They (the same people who use the opening saying I couldn't articulate) say that hard thing, those words you are too shy or polite or stubborn to say out loud are probably what you need to write down.

I am attempting to apply this to not only my story, but everyday life. We only get one chance and one day, I don't want to look back and see all I ever did was the easy thing - My husband would probably argue I make everything difficult ;)

As a kid, I was taught if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. For the most part, I stick to this. However, there are times where logistically, this does not make sense.

So I challenge you: some time in the next week, do that thing you've been putting off, that thing you know won't be easy but you're dying to try (and deep down inside you know you probably should). I'm not sure what my thing will be, but I'll keep you updated. Stop by and share yours if you like.

That is a problem

2010-03-31T18:00:00.001-05:00

There are words we are not supposed to overuse. My favorite word to not overuse is 'that'. As a general rule of thumb, if you have a sentence with 'that' in it, read it out loud twice - once with 'that' in the sentence, once with it omitted.

If the sentence makes sense without 'that', you could probably leave it out.

Caution:

If you are concerned you are using 'that' too often and decide to trade it for 'which', be sure 'which' fits in that place. Perhaps 'that' is necessary.

Here are some words I love to overuse:

was

look

could

anything ending in ly - my favorite!!!

Something to work on. That(mwahahahaha)'s all for now. What are your favorite words to overuse / not overuse?

Enter the lion tamer

2010-03-30T20:25:00.002-05:00

It took much leaping and flailing and gnashing of teeth, but my lions (aka horses, but one would not expect horses to be so gnashy) have a new home.

This weekend had a large list of Here is where I went wrong. This is the winner:

Saturday was best marked by an inappropriate choice of underwear. At times, it is nice to know some part of your outfit is adorable, even if no one can see it. I should have considered when cutting stall mats to line the bottom of a horse trailer, a specific bending technique is required (adorable underwear is not). Occasionally this technique allows the display of what should be left unseen. As it was, I ended up looking like a washed-up cabaret dancer with a strange flouf of flamingo-pink ruffle sticking out of my jeans whenever I dropped my guard. Awkward.

But wait, there's more:

Sunday saw one horse successfully trailered - where I come from, trailer is a verb ;) - and one horse determined to resist travel (its not for everyone). Ropes were broken, as were camel backs. A final decision was made and one horse made the journey, the other was left behind.

Safety before pride.

Our new boarder is a fabulous woman with a trailer that makes mine look like a tin can on wheels. She offered to pick up Lion#2. 10 minutes and a little determination was all she needed. My ferocious pal was loaded and on the way to his new home. I have officially dubbed her the Lion Tamer (but I probably won't tell her-I'm not taking any chances of her thinking I'm a weirdo).

You know how it is when you meet a person and just have that good feeling about them? That's her. She even teaches riding lessons!

This should cross the last bit of crazy off my to-do list. Hopefully life will shift into a bit of a slow down for a while.

How about you? Have you ever:

Worn inappropriate underwear?
Met a person and thought they were just too good to be true but known/hoped they weren't?

1000 Places to See Before You Die

2010-03-28T12:00:00.003-05:00

This is one of my favorite books. 1000 Places to See Before You Die by Patricia Schultz. Because of its weight, it is what I like to think of as a coffee table book, rather than a travel guide book. As in, if I were to travel somewhere, I would not bring this book on the trip with me. I would leave it on my coffee table.

Whenever I go on an adventure, I enjoy looking in this book to see if there are any points of interest to visit. I jot any interesting points down (in a notebook) or circle the locations in the purse-sized travel guide I plan to bring along. When I return home from my adventures, I add any interesting bits of information I have accumulated to that particular entry and rank it (ex: 5/10, 10/10).

Now, lets be honest. Very few people will every see every place in this book, but it can still be fun to try (if you are one of the few, consider me jealous of you). If you happen to be in the area, it might be worth it to check out the recommended locations in these pages.

Here is where I turn this book into a game:

Whenever a family member goes on a trip, I make them consult this book (or do it for them). When they return home, I also have them review anywhere they have visited (everyone has their own ranking system - stars, some are out of 5 instead of 10 - it doesn't matter as long as it is understandable) and sign and date it. I may never see all of these places, but perhaps my family will over time.

I recommend you pick it up and give it a try. You may find you have already visited some of these spots. Perhaps even in your own home town.

The one that started it all

2010-03-27T12:00:00.003-05:00

This book is the reason I believe no matter how cool they make ebooks, they will never completely replace the real deal.

This is a copy of Marguerite Henry's Misty of Chincoteague I found in a used book store. It is also the first signed book I have ever owned.

Every time I hold this book in my hands, I realize not only am I holding a book I love, my favorite childhood book, in fact; I am holding a book Marguerite Henry held. A book she signed. A book she personalized. It wasn't meant for me, but it was meant to be special.

Sadly, I will never get to meet her. She died in 1997, but this book allows a way for me to connect with one of the people who had a positive influence on my life. That's right writers; like it or not, you are influencing a person's life.

In the same way some people get excited about going to concerts or have favorite athletes, I have an affinity toward authors who positively impact my life with their writing. I have built up a small collection of books signed by their authors. Books meant for me (Books someone else will own one day).

There is one thing I know about this one. I think I knew it the first time I held it in my hands. No matter how many I obtain, there will be something about this one that gives a little extra tug at my heart.

Make me believe you

2010-03-26T12:00:00.001-05:00

Have you ever read a book where you just didn't believe what is happening? I don't mean agree with specific viewpoints, I mean BELIEVE IT IS REALLY HAPPENING. It can go on and on and you just want to call, "BS! I don't believe you!". How can a story have so much room to share and leave the reader feeling hollow? Perhaps it is because a story's length provides just enough rope to hang one's self with.

Take song lyrics, for instance. How long is a song? Two minutes? Five minutes? A person is not expected to sit down with that song for 7 hours. After two minutes, a person can love a song, hate a song, feel indifferent, listen to it until every word is memorized. A song has an infinitesimal amount of time to share its message. The message might be random, vapid awesomeness (nothing wrong with that if you ask me), but every now and then you'll come across a set of lyrics that can tell you exactly the person who wrote them felt in less than ten words. Less than five.

"Love is a first"

"I want you to want me"

"Like the red sea, she split me open"

"I'm not going to write you a love song"

"When a heart breaks, it don't break even"

I like to think there has to be one special thing a person does in their life. Everyone does special things every day, but there is one extraordinary thing that will stand out when all is said and done. The trick is, you won't know what it is until all is said and done.

In that same tone, every task performed repeatedly in one's life will have one moment that out-shines the rest. Even buying milk - I don't know how, you figure it out and let me know when you do ;)

What it all boils down to is you can write a story, or a song, or a letter. But don't censor it to become something you think another person will want to see. Write what is real. Write what really happens. Don't say, "She's wonderful and exciting," when what you really need to say is, "She's as hard as AC/DC, she gets my thunder struck."

I can't see the fire in your eyes, but I want to read it.

2010-03-25T21:00:00.001-05:00

Deleted

Canned worms, a la mode

2010-03-25T17:45:00.003-05:00

Have you ever heard the phrase, "That's going to open up a whole new can of worms" ?

Have you ever said it?

Have you ever wanted to open a can of worms anyway?

Have you been instructed to open one?

Have you ever secretly handed one to your significant other and said something like, "Honey, can you open this for me? You're so strong."

Significant other flexes muscles, "Sure, hand it over. All you have to do is twist the - wait a minute! This isn't a pickle jar! There are worms in here!"

"Fine! I'll do it myself!"

"Fine!"

No?

... me neither.

Personally, I prefer time to open canned worms. If you do before you're ready, the result is similar to that of opening a bottle of pop recently fired from a cannon. No good can come of this. (ps - Good luck convincing your significant other to open a bottle of pop recently fired from a cannon)

Anyway, I got an email today saying something along the lines of, "I got the lid off the worm can for you. Get started. Yesterday."

Funny thing is, as hard as it is to open up a can of worms, I've always got a can of whoop-ass on hand.

Time to get the can opener.

Random awesomeness

2010-03-24T18:00:00.002-05:00

Check out the new business card. I mean, look at it. It means business. You may notice I'm going through a bit of a phase where I am into ninjas :)

Well, actually its a trading card. My sister works at an art gallery and they had a make your own trading card night.

The point of the game:

Make a trading card, stick it in a binder filled with completed cards and choose a new one.

I got a little attached to mine and she said I could keep it.

Anyway, mine is now a business card. The problem is I only have one.

Here is my plan:

Next time someone asks my for my business card, I'll hold it up and say, "Here it is, but you'll have to fight me for it."

A challenge

2010-03-23T18:00:00.002-05:00

My home is overrun with notebooks. I can’t get to sleep unless I have one on the nightstand. If I don’t have one, it is inevitable that I have some random idea pop into my head right before I fall asleep and I am faced with one of two options:

Option 1: Try really hard to remember it, fall asleep, wake up knowing I needed to remember something but am not sure what, spend all day trying to remember, have it pop up again in my memory right before I fall asleep.

Option 2: Write it down somewhere.

The thing is, once I have something written down, I fall into that headspace of, “Its down, its safe. No worries.”

Now, keep in mind I am tired, the lights are off and the idea probably isn’t that great. Sometimes, its GET FABRIC SOFTENER. Others, I'll flip through in the morning and find a page that says things like: rabbit, he farted, push them.

In a nutshell (help, I'm in a nutshell), I leave myself a random trail of bread crumbs and hope I can follow them come daylight.

Some days, I’ll read something and think, “What a great idea, sleeping Stephanie solved the problem waking Stephanie couldn’t.” Other times, what I have written is 100% indecipherable (see attached photo). Either way, sleeping Stephanie enjoys it - one morning I woke up with my notebook in one hand, a pen in the other. I gripped them so tight, my arms were stiff the next day.

Anywho, even if doing this makes me seem like a bit of a nutso, it works for me. I'd recommend it for anyone having trouble sleeping, remembering things etc.

Today’s challenge:

I scanned something I wrote down one night and was totally excited about. If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have got up and put it in my computer right away. Instead, I wrote it down and went to sleep. I woke up, grabbed my book and saw what you see attached to this post: a bunch of scribbles.

10 points to whoever can first translate my sleep-scrawl ;)

... she chortled

2010-03-22T18:00:00.009-05:00

There are an amazing number of words used to replace the word said. These words can be both a blessing and a curse. The right combination and you feel like you are living in the book. Over-application and you want to stab your eyes out with a pen knife. At least I do.

Today, I tackle chortle.

Let’s be realistic – I have perhaps chortled twice in my life, at least one of these times, I am sure tequila was involved.

I have only ever seen one textbook-defined chortle I can be certain wasn’t just a jolly laugh or a merry chuckle. It was Thanksgiving, my niece was three and she was eating blueberry pie.

Well, she wasn’t eating it; she was shoving it in her mouth. Without chewing or swallowing. She was beginning to resemble a small rodent when she looked up and met my eyes.

I don’t know if it was the look of disgust on my face or the simple joy of pie, but she opened her mouth and laughed. It was one of those big belly laughs that make everyone in the room join in hysterical laughter until tears run down their faces. Her eyes made those cute little rainbow shapes, she was smiling and around all that pie, her laughter had a sort of loud gurgling quality. If I weren’t laughing, I probably would have thrown up. That, my friends, set the bar pretty high for all other chortles wishing to follow.

My recommended usage of the word chortle: 1 per story. More if pie is involved.

What do you think?

Its all about the he said she said

2010-03-21T19:32:00.004-05:00

There are two things you should know about me.

Thing 1: I have an addiction to office supplies.

Thing 2: I have a limited short-term memory and go crazy if I think of something I might need to remember for later.

Thus, the avalanche of little notebooks I keep in my house, my purse, my car... To write down random stuff.

One of the things I did in one of them is write down a collection of words. Words I like, words I find most descriptive under a specific circumstance, words that describe other words.

In this post are the list of words I collected to be used in place of said. It is a list I both hate and worship (check out tomorrow's post to see why). I've found these words in books, online, by listening to people talk (TV, radio, humans).

My suggestion is not to take this list with a grain of salt, but to use it the way one would use salt.

There are a number of different salts to be used in cooking: sea salt, kosher salt, rock salt, celtic salt etc. They may all add a special something to a dish that plain old table can't quite achieve, but they all serve the same purpose - to make the food taste salty. The amount of salt added to a dish are not exponentially related to its deliciousness, regardless of the quality or variety.

Consider yourself warned ;)

contested cited discussed asked appeased

continued claimed disclosed replied approved

contradicted coaxed disrupted blinked argued

chimed contributed comforted divulged began

articulated cooed commanded echoed sputtered

assented counseled commented elaborated assumed

countered communicated emphasized assured coughed

crabbed cackled cajoled calculated called

caroled cautioned challenged craved cracked

cried criticized croaked cautioned crooned

cross-examined chanted cursed charged chattered

chided chipped in chimed in chirped choked

chortled complained conceded concluded concurred

confessed confided confirmed consented consoled

crowed drawled droned debated decided

declared decreed delivered defended demanded

demurred denied denounced described determined

dictated directed disclaimed enjoined enumerated

equivocated estimated enunciated exhorted exaggerated

exclaimed expiated explained exploded exposed

faltered foretold fumed gagged inquired

insinuated volunteered ventured prompted supplied

thundered hesitated added agreed corrected

whispered hesitated abjured accused acknowledged

added addressed admitted admonished advised

advocated affirmed agreed alleged allowed

alluded announced answered apologized appealed

asserted assured attested averted avouched

avowed blubbered blurted blustered boasted

boomed bragged breathed broke in brought forth

babbled baited bantered bargained barked

bawled began begged believed belittled

bellowed condescended

I don't know how to put a table in blogger. If anyone knows how, I'd appreciate a heads up - I'll give this list a bit of a tidy (the OCD in me goes crazy that the list isn't alphabetical and perfectly lined up).

Hit me

2010-03-17T18:00:00.002-05:00

I'm out of town so here is a little something I've jacked from my facebook page ;)

Original post date: Sep 22, 2008.

I had a list of things I wanted to do on our trip to Vegas (if you say Las Vegas, people will ask you if its your first time visiting. Saying Vegas is cooler). Some of the things were from my then-bucket list. Some are strictly Vegas-specific:

See a Vegas wedding. (Didn't happen)

Convince the happy couple to let my husband and I be witnesses. (Self-explanatory)

See the Freemont Street Experience. (Pretty cool)

Say, "Hit me," while gambling. (Still have no idea where this applies)

Say, "Let it ride while gambling. (This phrase also escapes me)

Wander through a CSI set. (No dice)

Meet someone famous. (Actually happened - Alexis Bledel - Gilmore Girls, Hello, MY FAVORITE SHOW!)

Go up the Eiffel Tower, see the Bellagio water show. (Did both at the same time)

Have a daiquiri in one of those Eiffel tower drink bottles. (Stood in line for half an hour. Didn't have ID on me. Got my husband to buy it. Because I didn't have ID, the guy wouldn't sell to my husband. Had to go into the Paris casino and skulk around while he waited at the bar (on advice from the street vendor). Never did finish it. Had the world's worst headache the next day. Avoid at all costs!)

Go to White Castle (have an adventure to do so if necessary). (Didn't go. Another trip to the States will be required for this purpose alone)

Buy air. (The more I think about it, the shadier it seems - didn't do it, no regrets)

Pull a crank on a slot machine. (Some of the older machines have cranks, but they don't pull. I suppose they're not fast enough to meet most people's gambling needs)

Ride on a roller coaster (Did this. My first one. Pretty much forced my husband to go on it with me. As the man behind us yelled, "There's no time to be scared!" - As we crashed around and spun upside-down for no good reason, "Who's idea was this? That's right, it was yours; you big, dumb idiot," which I later shared with my husband. A passerby though I was verbally abusing him. My bad. I clung on so tight, I had bruises on my shoulders and shins. Still can't sleep on my side or cross my ankles)

See someone being arrested. (While waiting in line to take the bus back to the hotel from Freemont Street, a man jaywalked in front of a cop car. The cop got out, started patting him down, wandered around writing things down, then handcuffed the guy. Thats when the state trooper showed up. There was a minor dispute between the two law-enforcers. Then another cop showed up. We got on the bus. A man asked the bus driver, "So, is it really an $1100 fine for jaywalking?" - The bus driver replied, "Oh yeah, Las Vegas drivers are crazy. We'll kill you," (WE'LL??!!!???), "Its a $200 fine. I hit a guy once. I paid it. He was here, then he was over there. Its your fault if you get run over. $200 is nothing. I paid it.")

See Elvis. (I walked by him on the street. He was in street clothes, but it was obviously The King)

See a pimp. (This wasn't on my list but I did see one wandering around a casino. It was either a pimp or Kid Rock. Hard to tell the difference.)

Thats all I can think of for now. Its such a funny city.

Eviction notice

2010-03-16T19:39:00.007-05:00

Without a doubt, the current economic situation has lead to some terrible outcomes, the worst being lost jobs for people in Canada and the US.

There are a few (selfish) things I did not expect would come of it. For example:

The bubble-bath section of the drug store has undergone a major downsize. I don't even know if my favorite bubble-bath is made anymore.

Book publishing is down. If I am being realistic, my chances of ever having a book published are 0, or at least very poor (the last thing anyone should ever accuse me of is being realistic). ;)

Skyrocketing hay prices. Prices are so high, the stable where I kept my equine pals (from now on referred to as The Lions - a pet name I gave them when we were young and wild) will no longer be operating. That's right folks, my boys are being evicted.

Thus begins my search for a new home for The Lions.

This new home should include some or all of the following:

Minimal mud over extended periods of time.

Room to run.

Sturdy barricades to ensure The Lions will remain in their allocated "room to run."

Shelter from wind, rain, sun.

Delicious, dust-free hay.

Experts on-site who will give friendly, helpful advice / drive me to the hospital if I fall off while riding and forget who I am.

Absence of experts who give snotty quips that make me feel bad about my horses / myself (ex. "Well, you can tell your horses are used to getting their own way..." - Of course they are used to getting their way. I'm a student who has no time to ride and am not that great of a rider when I do. Some things are best left quietly ignored - like me lying in the dirt.)

Sunshine and lollipops as accepted forms of payment.

Updates to follow :)

Fishies!

2010-03-15T20:40:00.006-05:00

Meet my new friends - The Goldfish Quints! - stage left (I had 'stage right' earlier but my artistically inclined sister informed me stage left and right is based on where the actor is standing, not what the audience is seeing *insert vague memory of drama club here*).

What fun :)

If you never see a blog post on this site again, its because every time I sign in, I spend all my time feeding the fish.

What's that? You want in on the fun? Use your mouse and click anywhere in the box and feed will appear.

My tension has dropped 50%. Easily. I would display my tension level drop using a metrics bar but for the life of me, I can't figure out how to add the darn things. Tension levels rise when I try to add one. Again, this would be visible on the metrics bar ;).

Any suggestions for fish names?

All writing is good writing

2010-03-13T23:15:00.004-06:00

All writing is good writing is good writing. It may not all be fit for human consumption, but I feel it has its place.

The fear of bad writing should not hold us back. It should propel us forward. How can we learn without trying?

How can we get better without trying?

We need to try.

Courage comes from the ability to face one's fears and to move onward in spite of them.

At times, I don't know what is more frightening, the fear that the writing will never be good enough or the fear that once the snarls and rough edges are cleared away, something shiny will emerge. Once you are holding this object in your shaking paw, what do you do with it?

But it doesn't matter if we don't try. If we won't practice flapping our wings, we will never learn to fly.

On Villains

2010-03-12T18:00:00.003-06:00

Here is my thinking: Villains are not villains because they were born to be evil / forced to become evil. Or, at least, not all are.

Not all villains are even evil, but there is something about them we need to be the "bad guy."

People have different thought patterns, chemical makeup, etc. There are psychological disorders behind people doing terrible things. Control issues, products of one's childhood and so forth.

Thus, there is room for a villain who does terrible things because they have sadistic tendencies, but I don't think every villain should be so for this reason. There can be more than one villain in a story. There can be more than one type of story written.

As intriguing as the character arc of the hero / heroine can be the character arc of the villain. A villain who does a terrible thing because they feel they must can be more sinister than a villain doing a terrible thing because they think it is fun. There is that added sense of urgency. That feeling of desperation. It isn't the same as a villain embarking on our equivalent of an exciting trip to Vegas.

A trip to Vegas could be just as fun as a trip to Atlantic City. The villain doing something they must does not have the option of going to Atlantic City. They have their ticket to Vegas in hand. One way. Once they get there, they have no time for the strip. Strictly a business trip.

There is something about that emotional stake to up the level of depravity in a villain. I don't mean they have to do something absolutely crazy and insane to be a villain (I don't know who this villain is, they might be the quiet, sneaky type). I mean their intentions should be believable.

In some ways, there can be layers to who the villain is as well. Our hero could be someone else's villain. Mr. Rochester keeping his insane wife locked up in the attic is the one example that always pops in my mind. We love him. Jane Eyre loves him. I bet his insane wife is of a different opinion, even if he has her locked up for what he considers "her own good".

For all I know, I am someone's villain. You are someone's villain. Each person, trying to go through life the best they can is a villain to another.

Realistically, I am probably far too boring to be another person's villain, but how do I know? How do I know my trying to do good in my life isn't inadvertently harming another?

Personally, I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so my villains tend to be more outgoing with their evil-doing than the everyday inadvertent villain, but I still like to think about their motivation. They likely possess a general sense of what is right and wrong. They may feel bad about what they are doing. Would they feel worse if they did "the right thing"?

Why?

Every good story needs a ninja

2010-03-07T18:00:00.004-06:00

I remember reading somewhere about the ninja cliche. I can't remember it verbatim, but it goes something along the lines of: unless you are writing a story about ninjas, don't toss one in just to make things exciting. Ninjas are exciting. Boring stories cannot be made so by the addition of a ninja.

Here is where I think every good story needs a ninja: during the writing process.

That's right folks, there are times when you must set aside the love your own writing to sharpen that katana.

How many of your adverbs actually need that -ly ending? How many adverbs are truly necessary? Slash away.

How many times does the first word of one of your sentences start with (verb)ing? Hit one with a blow dart.

Do you use the same word repeatedly? In the same passage? In the same paragraph? In the same sentence? Knock those spare words away with your nunchakus (numb-chuks to the Napoleon Dynamite fans in the crowd).

At first, it is difficult. Handling so many weapons with ease is not simple. Every now and then, there is a risk of getting cut and no one likes getting cut. No one likes the pain, but its like ripping off a band-aid. The longer you leave it on, the more gross, fuzzy, sticky stuff gets left behind (I am a firm believer in the fact that there is no painless way to remove a band-aid, with the exception of a public swimming pool).

Personally, I hate doing it. I especially like the -ly verbs. LOVE THEM! But I don't need them. Carving away the crutch verbs and words is a bit of work, but there is that wonderful sense of accomplishment once it is done.

Know it is possible.

After all, the most important weapon to the ninja is not a physical object at all. It is their mind.

Backup! We need backup!

2010-03-05T18:00:00.001-06:00

So here's the story. At the writers group I attended last weekend, I learned something interesting. If you are writing a romance, there should not be more than 10 pages in a row where the hero and the heroine are not together. Thinking about it, this makes absolute sense. It is after all, a story about the relationship between two people.

This also threw me into a panic, because I knew for a fact I had big chunks of time where the hero and heroine aren't together. I just didn't know how many pages each chunk of time took up. I started sifting through my book.

Something strange happened. I couldn't find a scene. It was that feeling of, "Where did I put that thing." I knew I had written the scene. I knew where it should be. The scene that followed it was in place. Where was it?

It was gone.

I had this flashback to a couple of times where I had trouble saving (some sort of little warning popped up), but then the warning went away and the file opened again so I forgot about it.

Now, I remembered the warning.

My computer's memory always seems to hover on the edge of full (I have an iTunes addiction but refuse to seek help). My theory is the file made room for the new information by getting rid of some old stuff.

Here is where I rejoiced:

I had backed up my work! I don't always do this but there are some things that are just easier to back up than not. This story is one of them. After a frantic ten-minute search, I found the little folder with back-up versions and one of them had the missing scene!

Much rejoicing.

Now, I was curious. I did a bit more sleuthing and found another scene was missing! Guess where I found it? In the same backed-up file!

It may sound like I am bragging about my back-up skills, but in reality, I am just amazed this worked out. As soon as I knew my scene was missing, I had assumed it Lost Forever. More than once, I have written a school report only to have the computer crash and all my work lost. Finally, I learned the ctrl+S trick and life has become much more pleasant.

So here is my tip of the day: This very moment, pick your most favorite file (or most important file). Heck, pick all of them, and take some time for a little bit of back-up. Stick it on another computer, put it on a disk, email it to yourself, print it out. You just never know when you will be glad you did.

Now, back to counting pages.

The Little Red Hen

2010-03-04T18:00:00.001-06:00

In the real world, the Little Red Hen does not eat the bread.

In the real world, the Little Red Hen ends up roasted and served on the table for supper.

There are times in life when one has to stop and realize they have become the Little Red Hen. Unlike the Little Red Hen, one cannot make a snap decision at the end of the story and say, "I have made my decision. I am putting my foot down. No bread for you." Once this point has been reached in the real world, the time required to lower a foot is exponentially higher than the amount of time it took to raise it.

My point: Don't be the Little Red Hen. But don't be the Duck either.

One of the best things about writing stories is never having to be the Little Red Hen.

I suppose there may be some authors out there who have wearied of writing for the masses and only write for themselves. They may consider themselves The Little Red Hens of the writing world. The late JD Salinger comes to mind. Anyway, this title assignment comes nowhere near something that could be applied to myself in this context, so I am going to go ahead and stick with my previous statement.

One of the best things about writing stories is never having to be the Little Red Hen.

If the Duck and the Marmot want bread, they know they will need to plant their own wheat. As for the Hen, she knows from the start the bread tastes better if you grow your own wheat, water your own wheat, chop your own wheat, grind your own wheat... random farming and cooking references related to wheat.... Bake your own bread.

Every now and then, you might need to stop by the neighbor's house to borrow a scythe or some other device to remove the occasional noxious weed that creeps into the mix, but that doesn't mean your neighbor is baking the bread for you. It might mean lending them your tiller if they need it.

And the whole way through the process, the best part is smelling your bread cooking. Even when the wheat it is still in the ground, you catch an occasional whiff in the air and it smells warm and buttery.

However, at times it can be difficult to keep this in mind. Especially when being measured for the roasting pan.

Writer's group

2010-03-03T19:44:00.004-06:00

I have joined a writers group. A group of writers have allowed me to join their group. Whichever way you want to look at it.

Either way, last Saturday, I got to sit in a room full of writers and talk about books and writing and listen to other writers and hear about their group adventures and IT WAS SO EXCITING! As a friend of mine says when she is in a good mood, ILOVECAPSLOCKS!!!!!!!

At first, I was nervous about being a stranger asking to join a group of people who already know one another, but it was wonderful. Everyone was so interesting. There was tea. Did I mention there was book talk?

I can see why people rave about these things. Looking forward to the next meeting!

Avatar etiquette

2010-03-01T18:00:00.005-06:00

There is that unspoken / spoken rule that Canadians, in general, are polite.

Too polite.

Excessively polite.

Embarrassingly polite.

What I should let you know is while Canadians are polite, they also have a high set of standards for politeness from others, especially amongst themselves. Here is an example of what I mean:

My husband and I went to Avatar. Now we want to be blue. Anyway...

Halfway through the show a man got up (we think he had to go to the washroom). He opened an exit door, but it was a door to the outside world.

HERE IS WHERE HE WENT WRONG:

He walked away without ensuring the door was shut. He walked across the front of the theatre and went out the actual exit.

MEANWHILE:

Sunlight was streaming into the theatre! While Avatar was playing! ARGHhhhh!

HERE IS WHAT I DID:

Step 1: I decided I would shut the door (Avatar was on. Who wouldn't be inspired to be a hero?). With my goggles still on. I almost fell down the stairs.

Step 2: I took my goggles off, ran down the stairs, across the theatre, shut the door, ran back across the theatre, up the stairs, across the aisle, sat down and put my goggles back on.

Here is my point: people who pay a small fortune to watch an amazing 3-D movie do not want that experience ruined someone with bad manners. Someone letting in the daylight (ahhh, I'm melting!). Especially in the middle of a battle scene.

Oy with the poodles already

2010-02-28T18:10:00.003-06:00

My husband and I have become those people who, when asked if we have any children / when we are going to have any, we say, "Oh no, we have a dog."

Not that we treat her like a / our baby. When she was a puppy, she had her fair share of babying. Now, however, she is three, therefore an adult. Since at most times it is clear to pretty much everyone she is smarter than the average bear, we treat her like an adult. A friend. A colleague. One of those friends from work that you go for lunch with every day and hang out with every afternoon and go on family camping trips with every weekend.

This week, however, she was sick, and although no one wants to hear about a stranger's sick dog, I want to write about it. One of those things about a sick animal vs a sick person is they can't tell you what is wrong. They can only show you something is wrong.

Thus, a week of my dog lying on the couch like a sad little slipper. A week of carrying bowls of water to her and making her rice, which led to egg whites, which led to chicken breast, which led to my husband wondering if she was MUCH smarter than the average bear.

She is perking up, finally. I can. Dog or not, if you love someone, you are going to worry about them when they are sick. I suppose the worry is a feeling I will be able to tap into with my writing, but this is one of the few times where I am not thinking, "I am glad I had that learning experience."

Pretty much all I have talked about this week is my poor little friend.

Here is one of my absolute favorite phrases, from one of my absolute favorite TV shows. I think it is appropriate for me this week:

Oy with the poodles already.

Using the internet as a research tool - Unjinxed version

2010-02-26T17:10:00.005-06:00

I have decided the last blog post was jinxed. Ergo, I have deserted it and am writing what I wanted to say there, only here.

We are to be wary about doing research for our writing online. However, I have been doing a surprising amount of it and have compiled a list (Surprise!). Here are some ways I think using the internet as a research tool can be effective in helping a person write what they know.

Amazon (and other online book stores). Sometimes, there is that strange, obscure book you can't find in your local library or used book store. It is worth a shot trying to get the library to order one in. If that fails, try the internet.

Finding that strange, obscure book. There are a number of book review sites or sites that list books related to a number of topics

Youtube. Online videos provide a way of showing an event that cannot be experienced in real life. This could be a moment in history, a particular activity (to get the feeling of the moment - ex. watch the parents at a kids sports game vs fans at a professional sports game. The feeling is different).

Podcasts and other voice recordings can help give a feel for accents and regional dialect, sounds of things (ex. church bells in a specific town, horse hooves on concrete (there is more than one type of clop), the sound of a tree falling).

Online images. See how a place looks when it is raining, when it is snowing. How a person's hair looks when they are falling. A nervous smile. A friendly smile. A goofy looking donkey. The possibilities are endless.

Online recipes. Learn how strange foods taste. Learn a fancy recipe. Learn a foreign recipe. Purposely burn something you normally like. Purposely add / remove an ingredient.

Online catalogues. Order that unobtainable item. That thing that must be physically experienced, not imagined.

I know there is so much more. Does anyone have more examples?

Using the internet as a research tool - Jinxed version

2010-02-26T17:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, here is a post I have really wanted to do for a while now. I've wanted to do it so bad, I made up a few notes, and set it to post at a date I considered to be far in the future. I feel it is cursed. I keep forgetting about it and I'll switch to my blog and see my little list of notes posted.

I am considering this my learning experience and from now on, will post notes YEARS in the future, then switch the dates when I am done. Yes, folks. Where I come from, this is how a MASTER PLAN is born. Okay, well, I made that one up. Moving on.

Jinxed again. Hubby made supper. Back in 10.

I need the silence

2010-02-19T13:46:00.005-06:00

Please allow me to expand.

I can't talk about what I am writing with my loved ones. I have a few friends that sort of know what is going on. My husband has a vague reckoning but hasn't heard any passages read out loud or anything. Every now and then, I'll let him know a bad guy has rolled into town.

My family knows something is up. After all, they drove me to the airport when I went to the SiWC. My aunt drove me to the building each morning and picked my up each afternoon. For her, I made up some poor excuse of a title I said I gave whenever someone asked if I was writing something: "Broken in Three Places: The Story of [My Aunt's Name]'s Leg." I'm still working on that one. A real tear-jerker.

They're not dummies.

I just can't talk about it.

Why is this?

I care about their opinions too much and if I let them tell me their opinions about this story, I may never finish this book. I'll finish a different book, but not this one.

So we don't talk about it. Sometimes, when I am typing at my computer, someone will ask what I am doing and I will respond, "Writing things down." That is enough for all of us.

For now, this book has to be for me. I can mess around with scenes, backstory, dialogue etc... and not worry about it being stupid. It can have stupid parts, because I am the only one reading it. Once I have most of the stupid parts out, they can go to a critique partner. Once they help me drag away most of the remaining stupid, perhaps I will be able to send it off to an agent, editor, publisher, etc...

Then, I may feel ready to show my loved ones. Then I will feel it is completely not-stupid and ready for someone else. Because although I completely respect critique partners, agents, editors, publishers, etc... (Believe me, I do), they aren't the ones who make me soup when I am sick or the ones who will be stuck paying off my student loans if I get hit by a bus.

That is why it shocks me most when I hear query letter advice about not telling a prospective agent that your family and friends love your book. I would have never crossed my mind.

Its my quiet little secret.

I need the silence

2010-02-17T18:00:00.001-06:00

I know, this isn't facebook, but I need it right now.

Researching dialogue

2010-02-16T18:00:00.003-06:00

When I was a girl, my mom used to put my hair in a ponytail to keep me from hiding behind my hair. Every morning, the first thing I'd do when I got to school was rip out that scrunchie.

There is something comforting in the ability to hide behind one's hair, when necessary. The feeling of hiding in plain sight. It works too. People feel more comfortable talking amongst themselves when you aren't staring them down.

The best part is, you end up coming across little gems like this:

I was at the book store, picking up Jeaniene Frost's new book (whoop! whoop!). As the lady behind the counter was ringing my order through, the boy at the till beside her suddenly got all flustered. A girl was walking out of the store.

Boy (to Lady): What's she doing here? Why is she leaving?

Lady: I don't know. Why?

Boy: I don't like her leaving when I didn't even see her come in.

Boy (to Girl): What are you doing here?

Girl (mumbling): Just checking to see when I work next.

Boy: I'd more likely believe you were checking the contents of my locker. If my Dora the Explorer alphagettis are missing -

Girl: I was hungry!

It was beautiful.

Dialogue Research Tips

Don't be creepy. If you are listening to someone, don't look at them. That's creepy.

If someone says something funny, don't laugh. You are technically reading the sign taped to the lamp-post.

Don't jump in half-way and offer advice.

Don't spread the gossip. Seriously. If someone knows you are an eavesdropper, they will avoid you. You never heard what was said.

In line at the movie theatre works. Just shuffle around in your wallet / purse / look for your car keys.

You don't have to do this with strangers only. You can listen at family dinners etc. Participating in the conversation has a bit of a nulling effect though.

Walk on the safe side: listen to the radio.

More tips? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Jack Whyte at SiWC

2010-02-13T18:00:00.002-06:00

Jack began his presentation as follows: "Dialogue with the master. Heh, I don't feel very magisterial at the moment." Good times ensued.

Workshop Description:

Dialogue with a Master. New York Times bestselling author Jack Whyte shares his secrets of believable communication on the page.

On one character talking over several paragraphs: put opening quotes on each paragraph. Don't put ending quotations until they are done speaking.

Don't over-explain.

Show physical body language. It carries the message. You don't need a bunch of said, answered, etc. A twitch of the eyebrow, a nod of the head registers engagement, conviction, confidence.

3-4 people in a conversation. There is a great example in Robert McCammon's The Queen of Bedlam. (Main character walks into a room of strangers. 6 or 7 people sitting around a table. They talk to each other, the main character, there is cross-talk in front of him).

Greetings - Have someone do a general greeting. You can say it happened without using dialogue.

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT BOREDOM ON THY READER

You provide the blueprint - need to have worked out every idea in your head. Ex. If the character crosses the room, you had better give the reader warning this is happening. They can't just flash from point to point.

If there are several smells in a room, 1 will be a primary smell and the rest will be secondary, etc... 1 will overwhelm the other.

Accents - same language, same words, different way of holding mouth. Overtones are nuance.

Early, establish time introducing a character. Paint a picture of them. Put in standard english with the occasional vowel difference. You can use sentence structure as a tell.

Britain - dialogue changes from town to town.

It is not the way you speak, it is the words you use. Ex. trunk vs boot.

Maybe write an author's note or a simple glossary.

Historical writing - be aware of modernity. Ex. Measuring distance, time (moments, not minutes). Be constantly on guard!

Inside dialogue, use contractions. Outside of dialogue, DON'T.

If it is boring or doesn't move story forward, cut it. Throw it out.

What the story is doesn't matter. Your responsibility is to make it as absolutely limpidly clear as possible.

Dialogue is for character sharing, not information. Hear voice. That is when events begin taking place. Parts of character become etched into place. Good parts, flaws.

You don't have to say how many cavities the character has. Give a brief description and imagination does the rest.

Recommended Reading:

The Queen of Bedlam

Robert McCammon

The Religion

Tim Willocks (Harrowing siege and battle scenes)

John Irving and Pat Conroy

Great dialogue. Deal with strange family situations.

Dickens

You may learn more about Jack Whyte and his books on his website.

kc Dyer and Diana Gabaldon at SiWC

2010-02-12T18:00:00.001-06:00

kc Dyer, author of youth-oriented books and Diana Gabaldon, author of adult literature have something in common (probably more than one something, but anyway)... The use of time travel in their books. How they differ is in how they make use of time travel. In this presentation, they discussed some of the principles of and rules behind using time travel in a novel.

Workshop Description:

Travel Through Time with Diana Gabaldon and kc dyer. Enter into a lively discussion as these award-winning authors examine the intricacies of traveling through time when writing for adults and children.

Time travel

Can you change time? Should you change time?

Steven Hawking believes it is possible.

How does it work?

DG - Genetic

Everybody can - access to time machine.

kD - Constraints - serious consideration to time travel. Drug induced? Portal?

It must be integral to the story (framing) - not just everyone bopping around.

Be consistent with the rules. What happens with clothes? Glasses? Pacemaker? Prosthetics? etc

Operate by the customs of the past.

kD - Doesn't read books in era she is researching. Doesn't want to mix up what the place looks like - doesn't want to inadvertently use someone else's description of the place.

Language

DG - Depicting lower class with a cockney accent is very jarring - don't use.

Suspend disbelief!

Use a very light hand with writing accents.

When in doubt, revert to standard, formal english. This gives a universal tone to the book.

kD - James Harriot does a great job of handling the dialect of the Yorkshire dales.

Recommended reading:

A Connetticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Mark Twain

Time Machine

HG Wells

The Doomsday Book

Connie Willison

Websites

kc Dyer and Diana Gabaldon

Blogs

kc Dyer and Diana Gabaldon

Anne Perry, Jack Whyte, Robert McCammon, Diana Gabaldon Moderator: Anthony Dalton at SiWC

2010-02-11T18:00:00.001-06:00

All right, here is a new game for you. Take five amazing writers. Put them in a room and let them talk with one another. See what sort of notes you come up with.

Here are the results from the first time I played this game:

Making History. Non-fiction author Anthony Dalton moderates this panel of historical fiction superstars as they share their secrets of bringing real history to life in fiction. With authors Diana Gabaldon, Robert McCammon, Anne Perry, and Jack Whyte.

DG - Her favorite book is the one she is working on.

JW - History has unchanging elements. The writer must demystify it. They need to make it relevant to current readers.

Do you need to write a glossary?

JW - Have to do it for editor.

AP - Having a street map is useful.

JW - (On writing accents) Change as few vowels as possible to differentiate each accent for character. Write in normal, idiomatic english otherwise.

DG - Loch Ness smells like cold mud and dead fish.

Maps, small alleys, bylanes. (Not sure. Describe them? Get historical maps to be more accurate? I don't know.)

JW - Nelson's navy in the 16th and 17th century cut down (clearcut) the oak forests in the Highlands to build the navy. They never grew back.

On including real people in historical fiction

Allow real people to cross the street in front of fictional characters, etc. Otherwise, unless you know they do it (it is written down somewhere), don't make them do it.

And this is all I wrote down.

It would appear I ignored Robert McCammon. I didn't. The man was absolutely spell-binding. He spoke quietly and everyone leaned forward in their seats to catch every word. What I found most interesting is what he didn't say. He took a ten year break where he did no writing. Then he started again. What did he do during these ten years? He went for a lot of walks.

Then he wrote The Queen of Bedlam, a book Jack Whyte described in a later session as a book so beautiful (I'm paraphrasing here), it spurred him to invite Robert to the SiWC. A book with an amazing example of the use of dialogue in one of the opening scenes.

I know they discussed editors. I know they answered questions from the audience. I doubt I blinked more than once a minute through the entire sitting. Like all the other SiWC seminars, it was a truly amazing experience. Bravo to the SiWC planning committee and if anyone is still on the fence about whether or not to attend, I vote you do. You are taking votes, aren't you?

Websites

Anne Perry

Jack Whyte

Robert McCammon

Diana Gabaldon (Did I mention I love her podcasts?)

Bob Mayer at SiWC

2010-02-10T20:00:00.000-06:00

Bob Mayer aka Robert Doherty is someone I would define as a writing machine. He has written over 40 bestsellers. He has written both fiction and nonfiction, including the Black Ops series and the Area 51 series. He has also written 2 books with coauthor Jennifer Cruise. His most recent book is Who Dares Wins: the Green Beret Way to Conquer Fear and Succeed.

Workshop Description:

Original Idea and Conflict - The Heart of Your Story and The Key to Selling Your Book: Can you say what your book is about in 25 words or less? This is essential to both writing and selling a tight book. Join bestselling author Bob Mayer to discuss ways to find and state your original idea so that you stay on course while writing the book and with which you can excite those you tell it to when trying to sell it.

Again, there was a handout provided and I am going to go by the Pirate's Code of Honor and only provide my own personal notes.

On social media, such as facebook, twitter, blogging, etc: Social media can be a time suck.

Content is critical.

Title must invite the reader into the book.

Put yourself out there. You are never going to see anyone reading your book.

At the beginning of the book, if the protagonist were to go through the climax, they would fail.

Keeping secrets from the reader does not create suspense.

Conflict should occur at two levels in each scene. Ex. Being chased and arguing with each other.

Tip: Put every scene up on a white board. Mark every one that has struggle between two characters. Every scene should have some character vs character.

The main character must have some sort of flaw to make them seem real. Something in the nature of the character must cause a problem.

Negative protagonists need a redeeming quality. Ex. Grumpy, but will go out in snow to save senile old lady.

No one thinks they are a sidekick or a minion. Remember this when writing your story.

Flamingoes can't be left alone. They will go crazy. (This isn't some trick to make sure you are paying attention. I actually wrote this down. I also felt I would understand this in the future, as there is no other explanation.)

If a thing is an antagonist, put in a person who represents the antagonist.

Reading a finished draft of a book

Time 1 - What happens.

Time 2 - Watch the characters. Watch the secondary characters. Ex. In Deadwood (season 2)- the antagonist becomes the protagonist. Have to spark a redemption here and there.

A 1 page synopsis should contain 3 names - the protagonist, the antagonist, the supporting character and a bit of story.

You may learn more about Bob Mayer on his website and his blog or about Bob Meyer and Jennifer Cruise at their website.

Bob's book The Novel Writer's Toolkit: A Guide to Writing Great Fiction and Getting it Published contains in greater detail the information presented in this blog post and much more.

Hallie Ephron at SiWC

2010-02-09T20:00:00.001-06:00

Hallie Ephron spoke at the Surrey International Writers' Conference on how to write a great mystery. Hallie has cowritten 5 mystery novels and the psychological suspense, Never Tell a Lie. She is also author of Writing and Selling your Mystery Novel: How to Knock 'em Dead with Style.

Workshop Description:

Tips for Mystery Writers: Things I wish I'd Known. Hallie Ephron shares her epiphanies along the way to producing seven mystery / suspense novels - the mistakes, the trade-offs, the gotchas, and the expectations of the genre's readers.

During her presentation, Hallie gave a hand-out to everyone. These are my notes from the margins, not a re-typing of her handout (PIRATE VOICE: Aaaarrr. Because that be stealing, matey). Anywho:

The sleuth should not be solving a crime because it is their job. Often, the sleuth is an amateur, not a professional. It has to be personal. Otherwise, they would leave it to the professionals.

Story ideas - Suppose ___ happened ... and what if ... and what if ...

People are interested in characters who are not perfect. They need to be put in a position to prove themselves. Ex. If they have a problem with drinking ... send them right into a bar.

Mysteries are filled with secrets. Some characters have a secret that makes them guilty / innocent. Everyone lies. It is not always deliberate. Sometimes they don't know.

Real people and events. Be careful about libeling someone. Do not defame or illustrate someone with malice. Disguise can be defamable. Truth is the defense for libel.

The villain doesn't think they are evil. They could think they are righting a wrong, protecting a loved one / their reputation. They think they are doing the right thing.

Sidekicks act as a foil. They ask the dumb questions, make wrong observations.

Adversaries are good-guys who present obstacles to the sleuth.

Stories set in the present may make a story seem dated.

Pain makes the main character look heroic. Drama is directly proportional to the pain of the sleuth. Throw problems at them from the beginning. They come, get solved. More intense problems, get solved. If you plan to break their leg, wait until the end.

A scene has to have a payoff. Something that moves the story forward. A secret is revealed or there is a change in emotion, situation, etc ... If the scene doesn't have a payoff, get rid of it.

When using multiple view points, there should only be one narrator / scene. If there are two people in the scene, have the person who is least comfortable narrate.

Withholding information from the reader doesn't create suspense. It makes the author's presence obvious.

Be certain of what happens during a specific action. Ex. If you accelerate a car, you move back in the seat.

Let the reader learn the back story through the character's actions.

At the beginning (aka page 1), something should happen to throw the character off-balance.

The end - mop up unresolved bits, rehash, etc... In a series, something is left unresolved (maybe the love interest).

You may find out more about Hallie and her books on her website.

Deleted

2010-02-08T20:00:00.008-06:00

Diana Gabaldon at SiWC

2010-02-08T20:00:00.003-06:00

Diana Gabaldon, author of the Outlander series, the Lord John Grey series and numerous other novels, anthologies, non-fiction and other bits of writing presented on how to include research in writing at the SiWC.

Workshop Description:

I've Done My Research and Now You are Going to Pay. Join bestselling author Diana Gabaldon for a discussion on how best to do research and how not to dump it all over your story.

Here are my miscellaneous university student notes. She gave much more interesting information than this that I never wrote down, having heard similar tips on her podcasts, etc. I would highly recommend giving them a listen.

Historical fiction

Details must have an emotional stake. You can include any interesting bit of information, as long as it moves the story forward. Don't just dump it in.

Write not only for accuracy, but historical plausibility.

Children's books are fact-checked much more thoroughly than books for adults - you can use them as a reference at times.

Painters from the period can give you an idea of what people looked like.

Visit museums.

Diana has written with a goose quill pen / dip pen. Doing things like this can help you to "live" through a scene. Some artifacts will have a certain vibration when you pick them up - give you an idea what it would be like to hold it, use it.

Diana collects old Southebys catalogues.

Period expressions will add to a story.

Recommended readings:

A Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English

-Eric Partridge

The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue*

*This book gives examples of low slang expressions.

-Captain Francis Grose

Good Dialogue

Consider details important to the character. The way they speak is most important to the character.

Different people use language differently.

Use short sentences.

An old lady and a 12-year old shouldn't speak the same.

Background

Info dumps vs atmosphere.

It needs to be focused on (filtered through) the character.

Experience as the character.

Something should happen (you want to use action).

When using description, have at least one sense of action per paragraph.

Randoms

Trews, waistcoats (pronounced westkits).

Regional tartan sets - 1 weaver / area (usually men). Waulking = to felt wool. Women used to sing waulking songs to pass the time.

You can find out more about Diana Gabaldon at her website, or on her blog. You can find links to her podcast series on her website, as well as on you can find on iTunes.

What Would Sookie Stackhouse Do?

2010-02-05T20:00:00.000-06:00

Sookie Stackhouse is a fictional character in the Sookie Stackhouse series of books created by the marvelous Charlaine Harris, one of which is entitled, Living Dead in Dallas. She runs into trouble, including: vampires, werewolves, shifters, fairies, etc... and still manages to come out on top (or at least alive).

Since my adventures always seem to carry a bit of a disastrous undertone, it is good to have a game plan. Normally, this involves searching online resources regarding the location, buying guide books, talking with friends and family who have visited the location. This adventure, however, was more of the "winging it" variety.

This adventure's game plan went a little different. Long before this trip began, I had already decided to ask myself this question if I ran into trouble in Dallas.

What Would Sookie Stackhouse Do?

As with College Station, we underestimated the size of the city vs the availability of walkable ground.

After arriving at our hotel via paid shuttle, we wandered over to Denny's for supper (I can see the sign through the partially opened crack between the curtains as I sit on my bed).

Feeling overwhelmed by the size of the city, but deciding not to let it get the best of us, we went for a bit of a wander... and DISCOVERED A MEDIEVAL CASTLE!!!! Walking close, we could hear voices. Theatrical, medieval-sounding voices.

Walking closer (and on the grass), we discovered a little fenced area surrounded by vine-covered walls. With a bit of a jump, we could see the horses within the walls. We could also see the gentleman practicing his lines. Yep, the whites of his eyes.

Moving on, we sighted an open side door - revealing a room of long-haired men lifting weights and doing push-ups with their shirts off. "By the Power of Grayskull!" - type men.

Fanning ourselves, we decided it might be a wise choice to visit Medieval Times for supper tomorrow night and continued our walk. We were following another person carrying two grocery bags and something about the situation made me think, If this local feels safe walking over that bridge carrying their groceries, I should feel safe walking behind them.

The person then leaned over the side of the bridge and lifted the bags down. They straightened and the bags were gone. We promptly turned around and walked back to our hotel, googled bus routes to the Dallas World Aquarium and the Bodies Exhibition and prepared for bed.

What would Sookie Stackhouse have done? Probably something else, but I don't have swarms of sexy vampires and shifters to come save the day if I end up in over my head.

Today's question: Has anyone ever been to a Medieval Times performance?

Texas-Sized Adventure

2010-02-04T20:00:00.001-06:00

How are y'all doing? I've been in College Station, Texas this last week and I felt the need to bust in on the blog posts I had scheduled to share some of the things I have learned about the city:

People who wear burnt orange are referred to as, "Tree huggin' hippies." Guess what color my jacket is? Guess who couldn't resist hanging off a tree branch to have her photo taken?

Don't walk on the grass. Ever. We've been walking around a lot here. Some places don't have any sidewalk so we have to either walk on the road or the grass. People drive on the road. We've been honked at least four times, once when we were walking in a parking lot.

The university here is Texas A&M. Their school colors are burgundy and white. Almost everyone wears some little bit of Texas A&M clothing. I am pretty sure the ones who appear not to are wearing Texas A&M socks or underwear. Or have it tattooed somewhere on their body.

The university used to be an all-male military school. They have still retained a cadet corps.

A dog, Reveille, is the Commander-in-Chief of said corps.

Everyone is friendly here (and not in a fake way, they are actually friendly). It was raining and we were walking. A stranger offered us a ride (a non-creepy ride). We, of course are shifty out-of-towners and declined.

For fun, they refer to the University of Texas (UT) as t.u. Guess what their school colors are? If you guessed burnt orange, you would be right.

BTHO means Beat the Hell Outta', as in BTHO t.u.

The population of College station is around 50 000 people. Their football stadium can hold over 82 000.

Geckoes live here, or at least one does. I saw it.

BBQ is unbelievable here!

Visiting the George Bush museum is like visiting another planet. One with security guards and metal detectors. Go see it if you get the chance.

It is a two hour walk from our hotel to the George Bush museum.

The university owns the airport.

People say, "Howdy," here. Say it back. You'll feel like a big jerk if you don't. At least I do every time I hesitate on the reply.

Its raining.

Okay, back to real life. I'll talk with y'all again soon.

Eileen Cook and Annette Pollert at SiWC

2010-02-03T20:00:00.000-06:00

Eileen Cook, author, and Annette Pollert, editor, had a frank discussion between themselves and with the audience members in October at the SiWC about what the author-agent-editor relationship is like and how an author can participate in the marketing of their book.

Workshop Description:

Triple Threat - The Art of Working Collaboratively from Idea to Book Shelf. See how this writer (Eileen Cook), agent (Rachel Vater) and editor (Annette Pollert) have forged a strong collaborative working environment. Learn how a book can move from idea to bookshelf, how each defines and fulfils their role and what makes for a good working relationship.

*Note: Rachel Vater was sick and unable to attend the conference.

Here are some of the things I managed to jot down:

Writing is solo.

Publishing is colaborative.

Finish writing your book, THEN look for an agent.

Having an agent, you will be able to target one of the larger publishing houses.
Target a new agent at an established agency. Eileen had a few agents in mind when she was writing her book, sent query letters to them once she had finished.
Subscribe to Writer's Digest.

Publishing has three seasons: spring, summer and fall.

January is a spring title.

Pulse, Eileen's publishing company asked her what she wanted to be on the cover. They were very good about involving her in the process.

Some of Eileen's book marketing strategies (after a book is published):

Email book review websites offering to do interviews
Print out postcards for her book and gives them out. At the book store, put these postcards in the covers of other books.
She mentions it doesn't hurt to have a quote from another author on the book cover (hers is from Meg Cabot).
Make up teaching guides or a list of questions to be asked at a reading group. Eileen offers a teaching guide for one of her books, What Would Emma do? under the resources button on her website.
When visiting another city, contact one or two book stores in the area and offer to do a book signing. Eileen did her own book tour (she said it works better if people know about you).
Friends can request their libraries order in books.
Visit local book stores. If the people working there know you, they might recommend you. You can also offer to sign the copies they have.
With the use of internet and radio, there are a lot of possibilities to reach out to people
The education and library marketing department of the publishing company will submit books for prizes in contests, etc...

Eileen Cook has written the books Unpredictable, What Would Emma do?, and Getting Revenge on Lauren Wood. You may find out more about her (and read her awesome blog) on her website.

Annette Pollert is an editor at Simon Pulse.

Richelle Mead at SiWC

2010-02-01T20:00:00.000-06:00

Richelle Mead gave a very enlightening presentation at the Surrey International Writers' Conference in October, 2009. I found her to be as excellent a speaker as she is a writer and very open about the profession.

Here are the notes I scribbled down during her talk, for the most part resembling their point form counterparts in my notebook. This definitely does not encompass all of her presentation and I would definitely recommend anyone going to see her present if she returns to SiWC or any other writing conference.

Workshop Description:

The Undead Can be Sexy Too! Author Richelle Mead discusses the genres of Urban Fantasy and paranormal romance - the similarities, differences and overlaps, the trends in publishing and how to do your research.

Urban Fantasy (UF) - "Real world" with fantastic elements

Paranormal Romance (PR) - Similar to UF, but the primary plot is the difference

UF - May not end with a happy ending

PR - Will end with a happy ending

UF can be known to have darker elements whereas PR can be expected to have more light / funny elements, although these are extreme ends of the spectrum and many books are somewhere in between (she drew a diagram, which I copied, but don't know how to duplicate via typing).

Romance readers are the biggest piece of the fiction market. They give the writer a marketing edge, as romance readers are most likely to cross-read between genres. Often, UF crosses genres and can be shelved in a number of places in a book store. YA is generally shelved in YA, but can have PR or UF elements.

Examples of authors and the genres they write in:

Charlaine Harris PR/UF
Jim Butcher UF
Jim Harrison UF
Kelley Armstrong UF
Patricia Briggs UF
Laurell Hamilton UF
Mary Janice Davidson UF
Sherrilyn Kenyon PR
Karen Marie Moning PR/UF
Stephenie Meyer YA
Cassandra Clare YA
PC Cast YA/PR/UF
Holly Black YA
LJ Smith YA

Different beings / creatures that are used:

Vampires
Shape-shifters
Fairies / faeries ...
Witches
Demons / angels
Werewolves
Mages / wizards
Zombies - Mark Henry, Carrie Ryan
Myth (gods, unicorns) - Neil Gamon, Diana Peterfreund
Ghost, mystery - Kat Richardson

The biggest part of writing in either of these genres, no matter what is KNOW YOUR RULES! (because your readers will know them and they will point it out to you when you slip up)

Richelle discussed agents in the genre and recommended Preditors and Editors as a good place to go for information on agents and agencies.

You may learn more about Richelle on her website or her blog.

Did anyone else see her present at SiWC? Do you have anything to add that I missed?

Connecting with the audience

2010-01-28T20:00:00.001-06:00

Connecting with one's audience. A daunting task.

I have a list of random public speaking tips I try to remember every time I give a presentation. I recently shared this list with a group of friends and thought I would post it here as well.

Pretty much all of the presentations I give involve PowerPoint, hence its presence.

Know your subject. Know your presentation. If the power goes out or you suddenly lose your eyesight, you should still be able to deliver it.

Don't chew gum, jingle your keys, move your hands around in your pockets...

How well you know your topic is visible in your powerpoint slides. Lists of long sentences that must be read drive people crazy, especially if you flip through quickly. Instead, there should be one or two words that give a hint at the point you are trying to make and YOU deliver the long, drawn out sentence so it feels like a conversation.

Powerpoint: there should rarely be more than 20 words per slide. Each slide should take one minute of your presentation. Thus, if you have a ten minute presentation, there should be close to 10 (or maybe 8 so you have time for questions) slides and a 200 word word count.

Laser pointers are a priveledge, not a right. A laser pointer should not run out of batteries halfway through the presentation. If you must use it, use it sometimes. Push the button, point at what is interesting, stop pointing the button, set the pointer down. I can not trust myself with a laser pointer. I accept that my speaking style does not allow me to stop pushing the button and pointing the laser into the crowd from time to time, making people cross-eyed. I accept when offerred a laser pointer, I must sadly decline

Practice, practice, practice. Practice out loud (we speak slower / faster in our minds than out loud). Practice in front of your mirror, your dog, your hampster, your mop.

Give your presentation to your friend / group of friends / family.

Powerpoint: you may have noticed not all of these points end in a period (but some do...). Decide whether you will or will not end each point with some form of punctuation and stick with it.

Headings should line up from slide to slide and should be the same size.

Busy backgrounds make people crazy.

Time your presentation

If you have a problem with saying things like uumm, ahh etc... Practice pausing silently. It is something we do to give our minds time to think about the next thing we want to say. For whatever reason, we figure if we are making noise, we still look like we know what we're doing. Doing this, however, makes us look nervous. If you pause, you'll have everyone hanging off your every word.

Too many animations make people crazy. This is an art, not a science.

Watch the news. Ever notice when there is a reporter AND a little square with a picture on it, the reporter is on the left and the square is above their shoulder on the right? People read left to right (at least reading english), people listen left to right. If you stand on the right of your presentation, people will focus less on what you are saying and doze off staring at your powerpoint.

Using the same word / phrase over and over makes people crazy... It might also drive home a point (like continuously giving a newly defined word). Just be sure if you are doing it, realize you are doing it (repeating crazy a hundred times does not count as accepted use).

Join a public speaking group (like Toastmasters).

Consider your audience. Think of the times you have been in an audience. No one is there to judge you. They are there to learn from you. You are obviously an expert in the subject (work with me here, this is a pep talk) and you want to share what you know because it is important to you.

But what do I know about connecting with the audience? The last conference I presented at, I put the microphone backwards on my head, dropped the power pack on the floor mid-presentation and almost hung myself with the cord getting the stupid thing back on the waist-band of my pants.

Do you have any tips to add to this list?

A Calendar of Love

2010-01-27T20:00:00.004-06:00

After I finished my M Sc last winter, I felt a sudden sense of freedom. I could read whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. So I did.

About 2 weeks and 20 books later, I hit a wall. A wall of books. Suddenly, I had trouble choosing books I loved. I enjoyed them, but didn't always love them. Some I didn't even enjoy. Some I didn't finish.

I recently discovered a book that made my heart sing: George MacKay Brown's A Calendar of Love. This collection of short stories gave me everything I was looking for in a book.

It also made me realize what I was looking for: an author who trusted I wasn't a dummy. An author who realized I could work a few things out for myself.

This book follows the lives of people living in Orkney. The stories touch on the lives of people who live there, softly following the characters and places from story to story. While reading, I felt like a silent observer, where I had no control over the what or when, but if I didn't try too hard and just absorbed the experience, I might feel what it was like to be this set of islands in Northern Scotland.

One of the things I loved best is there is potential to miss the little things if attention is not paid. I'm certain I missed a couple things, which makes me excited to read this book a second (or third) time.

If anyone wants an example of a book that shows and does not tell, this is it.

Does anyone else have a book they enjoy for its ability to show, not tell?

Bucket List

2010-01-26T20:00:00.003-06:00

I think everyone has a list of things they would like to do in their life. This is a conversation I like to have with friends. It is interesting to hear what people's passions are. Their secret life goals.

This is the sort of list that morphs with time. Preferences and priorities change. One experience may influence the desire to have a similar experience. Others may do the opposite. Anyway, here is mine:

Bring it on!

Play darts and get a bulls eye

Ride in a zorb

Knock over a can with a slingshot

Get a mud wrap

Climb a tree (a really tall one, not one of the easy ones)

Make a quilt

Zip-line (not the kind at a playground, I'm thinking across treetops. Redwoods, preferably.)

Scuba dive (I've done it in a swimming pool but this doesn't count in my eyes)

See a wild herd of zebras

The thing that is implied in this blog but I think will jinx things if added to this list

See a volcano

Loom a rug

See a wild whale

Mission Accomplished

Ride a roller-coaster (big mistake)

Meet someone famous (the list is growing)

Travel to Europe

Touch a sturgeon

Go to Norway

Ride a donkey

I don't know if it is part of feeling there is a purpose to this journey or just the anticipation, but I love these things.

What is something you have on your bucket list?

Beauty in Writing

2010-01-24T20:00:00.003-06:00

For whatever reason, I have begun writing these stories (begun as in I've been doing it for a few years now). Stories about mermaids, mermen, sirens, finns, mers, whatever you want to call them, that is what I am writing. What does one call them? The more definitively I think about them, the more questions I raise. I think one of the main starting points for me is in every story, the description never quite makes sense.

Why does a mammal have scales? / Why does a fish have hair?
How do they breathe?
Do they have gills? - this would only apply if they are officially fish
Do they come up for air periodically, like a dolphin or whale?

What, officially, is the mermaid genre? Is there really a mermaid genre or are they lumped in with all shape-shifters?

There are a few common themes among mermaid tales - vanity (poems, especially), singing, sailors - but the major focus is their beauty, more specifically, lengthy descriptions of their glorious tails. So many of these stories seem reminiscent of The Little Mermaid (which I love, but I need variety in my life!).

Generally, part of the conflict involves legs vs tail, often involving a decision to change who they are to be with a love interest. This either says something about how special the love interest is or about the poor decision-making skills of the mer(maid / man).

Are people unable to relate to a beautiful creature wishing it was plain? I can't recall the last time I thought, "I wish I could be plain, instead of my extraordinary self," or felt sorry for someone who said that (not that I ever heard it).

In vampire stories, there are generally a few common themes - blood, sun, strength, immortality - and they focus on a mortal and try to protect them (usually successfully, but not always)... or eat them.

Do we identify better with a creature that is a husk of its former self, hungering for a part of its old life? A part of itself lost due to a bad choice? Who can't relate to action-based consequences?

In both however, I see a longing for humanity. A need to belong.

I think there is something more to mermaids than combs and mirrors and waiting for a ship of sailors to wreck on the rocks. I think there is something to be said about basing our opinions of another solely as a result of appearance.

After all, what is beauty? Can it be defined by a hair length, a specific symmetry of features? Are there age restrictions? Or is it something we can smell, hear, taste? Does one need daylight to know someone is attractive. If you can't see beauty in the dark, is it there at all?

There are so many questions swimming around in my head.

I can't stop thinking about mermaids.

Read it Backwards / Backwards it Read

2010-01-23T20:00:00.000-06:00

I was having trouble with a chapter I have been working on for months. Each time I read through it, there were sticky bits, but I couldn't figure out what to do with them.

What did I do? I read it backwards.

Am I a super genius? No

Am I the first person to do this? No

Did it work? Yes

Do I plan on reading ALL the chapters in this book backwards? Heck Yes

Has anyone else tried this trick and found it useful?

Opa!

2010-01-22T20:00:00.001-06:00

My husband and I are renovating our basement. What this has entailed thus far is gutting it until it is a cold concrete pit, and re-insulating said pit.

For the most part, the two of us have different tastes and generally have difficulty agreeing on something we both like. Instead of fighting, we agree to disagree and go home having bought nothing. We do realize at some point, we will need to tile the bathroom.

While shopping for tile the other day, I picked up a tile and maybe it was the feel of it in my hand, but some part of me (the part of me that wants to trade the neighbor's lawn gnomes around and rearrange your Christmas tree when you're not looking) wanted to smash it on the floor and shout, "Opa!"

The desire didn't come from frustration, just from the knowledge that if I did smash that tile, it would be absolutely satisfying. Not wanting to be banned from Home Depot, I set the tile down and walked away.

Have you ever had a similar desire to be bad for the fun of it?

Why blog?

2010-01-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

I have a gym bag that says, "Do one thing a day that scares you."

So I shall.

I have been told a writer should be willing to do pretty much anything once.

Fine. I'll do this. I can't and won't try everything under the sun, but this is within my power.

I'm happiest when I'm writing.

I'm taking a leap.